I've never had much money or talent for decorating our home. However, I have made it a priority to have a number of pictures of the Savior on the walls throughout. It thrills me to hear a two year old sweetly whisper the name, Jesus, as we pass a painting in the stairwell. Our children need to know of our love for Jesus Christ and our determination to follow his teachings from the very youngest ages.
The church has made it so easy to teach our children about the Savior in our homes. The scripture readers and the gospel art book are easy to buy and use. We purchased the old gospel art kit in the blue box from the Distribution Center years ago. I slid the pictures into sheet protectors and put them into binders…one for New Testament, one for Old Testament etc. I regularly let one of the younger children choose a picture then tell what he or she remembers about that story. Then we read the story off the back of the picture. Then I have another child tell the story again. They always remember more details after that reading. Sometimes I'll pull out several pictures depicting stories from the Savior's life and have them choose a favorite and tell that story to the other children. The scripture readers make great bedtime storybooks and my younger ones love to "do their scriptures" online. On lds.org you can have the scriptures read aloud to your children.
Another one of my favorite ways to teach my children of the Savior, his mission, teachings and love for us, is through the Primary Songs. There are so many wonderful songs about the Savior in the Primary Songbook. Here are just a few of my favorites: I'm Trying to be Like Jesus, Jesus Loves the Little Children, When He Comes Again, I Feel my Savior's Love, Jesus Once was a Little Child, and Tell me the Stories of Jesus. I teach these songs to my children, sing them often during the day and as lullabies and let them listen to them on the cd player as they fall asleep at night. What better thoughts right before they go to sleep than of Jesus Christ and his love for them.
Howard W. hunter has counseled us:
"Please remember this one thing. If our lives and our faith are centered upon Jesus Christ and his restored gospel, nothing can ever go permanently wrong. On the other hand, if our lives are not centered on the Savior and his teachings, no other success can ever be permanently right." (Fear Not, Little Flock, 1988-89 Devotional and Fireside Speeches, Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1989, p. 112}.
Friday, October 25, 2013
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Bubbles in the House
Monday, October 21, 2013
In Essentials, Unity
We have a son who is a returned missionary and is now in that phase of life where at some point he will find that special someone that he will take to the temple and be sealed to for time and for all eternity. We've had lots of discussions over the few months that he has been home about dating and relationships and love and how you know when you have "found her." It has been a fun time for me as I recall the days when Jerry and I were dating and how our relationship grew and deepened until we realized that we wanted to be with each other forever.
As we started out this adventure of marriage together we talked about the fact that as long as we could always be in agreement on the things that really matter in life, we would not let the little differences between us pull us apart. We came upon a quote that has been attributed to St. Augustine that goes like this:
"In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, liberty; and in all things, charity."
It really is profound when you think about it. Essentials in our marriage include keeping God's commandments and keeping our temple covenants. When we have questions about things in our marriage and family life we always turn to the scriptures and the words of the prophets first. Once we have found out what they have to say about the topic it is much easier to be unified.
President Ezra Taft Benson said in the Ensign July 1992 (Salvation - A Family Affair):
"A husband and wife must attain righteous unity and oneness in their goals, desires and actions"
We have found that many of the things that cause contention between husbands and wives on a daily basis are really nonessentials. We are all individuals; we do things differently, we see things differently; we have different opinions. We need to celebrate those differences. We need to be willing to listen to another's point of view. We need to be forgiving when those differences cause us challenges or even pain and sadness. And we need to realize that some things are so "nonessential" that they are really not worth taking any chance of damaging our relationship over. We need to be careful not to let "nonessentials" slip into the category of "essentials." When this happens, the unity in our marriage begins to disintegrate. We find ourselves getting annoyed and frustrated with our spouse more often. When this happens to me, realizing what I am doing is the first step to fixing the problem. Remembering what things in life and in our marriage are truly "essential" helps shift my mind from those little "nonessentials" that are bothering me so much.
Richard G. Scott said in his General Conference address in Oct. 1996:
"Marriage allows [our] different characteristics to come together in oneness - in unity - to bless a husband and wife, their children and grandchildren. For the greatest happiness and productivity in life, both husband and wife are needed. Their efforts interlock and are complementary. Each has individual traits that best fit the role the Lord has defined for happiness as a man or woman. When used as the Lord intends, those capacities allow a married couple to think, act, and rejoice as one - to face challenges together and overcome them as one, to grow in love and understanding, and through temple ordinances to be bound together as one whole, eternally. That is the plan."
And of course, when we have charity towards our spouse at all times, we see him or her through the Lord's eyes. We see him or her as a child of God who is stretching and growing and trying and failing, then trying again. The Lord continues to love us unconditionally despite our weakness; we can do the same for each other.
As we started out this adventure of marriage together we talked about the fact that as long as we could always be in agreement on the things that really matter in life, we would not let the little differences between us pull us apart. We came upon a quote that has been attributed to St. Augustine that goes like this:
"In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, liberty; and in all things, charity."
It really is profound when you think about it. Essentials in our marriage include keeping God's commandments and keeping our temple covenants. When we have questions about things in our marriage and family life we always turn to the scriptures and the words of the prophets first. Once we have found out what they have to say about the topic it is much easier to be unified.
President Ezra Taft Benson said in the Ensign July 1992 (Salvation - A Family Affair):
"A husband and wife must attain righteous unity and oneness in their goals, desires and actions"
We have found that many of the things that cause contention between husbands and wives on a daily basis are really nonessentials. We are all individuals; we do things differently, we see things differently; we have different opinions. We need to celebrate those differences. We need to be willing to listen to another's point of view. We need to be forgiving when those differences cause us challenges or even pain and sadness. And we need to realize that some things are so "nonessential" that they are really not worth taking any chance of damaging our relationship over. We need to be careful not to let "nonessentials" slip into the category of "essentials." When this happens, the unity in our marriage begins to disintegrate. We find ourselves getting annoyed and frustrated with our spouse more often. When this happens to me, realizing what I am doing is the first step to fixing the problem. Remembering what things in life and in our marriage are truly "essential" helps shift my mind from those little "nonessentials" that are bothering me so much.
Richard G. Scott said in his General Conference address in Oct. 1996:
"Marriage allows [our] different characteristics to come together in oneness - in unity - to bless a husband and wife, their children and grandchildren. For the greatest happiness and productivity in life, both husband and wife are needed. Their efforts interlock and are complementary. Each has individual traits that best fit the role the Lord has defined for happiness as a man or woman. When used as the Lord intends, those capacities allow a married couple to think, act, and rejoice as one - to face challenges together and overcome them as one, to grow in love and understanding, and through temple ordinances to be bound together as one whole, eternally. That is the plan."
And of course, when we have charity towards our spouse at all times, we see him or her through the Lord's eyes. We see him or her as a child of God who is stretching and growing and trying and failing, then trying again. The Lord continues to love us unconditionally despite our weakness; we can do the same for each other.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Just Laugh at It...unless your mouth is full
One of the reasons I love sitting down at the table together for a meal is the opportunity to teach and practice table manners. We eat breakfast as we are ready in the morning, and lunch is fairly casual with Mom setting out the leftovers on the counter, having a blessing on the food with everyone, and then each person choosing and warming his own lunch. The kids often sit at the table with a book and read while they eat lunch. But dinnertime is different.
At dinnertime we set the table with plates, cups, and silverware all in their proper places. We all come to the table together and have our family prayer and blessing on the food. We take our seats and then pass the serving bowls around the table. Sometimes I just serve the food, especially if it is a pot of hot soup. But I think there are lessons to be learned by passing the food around the table and letting each person serve himself.
Children learn to be patient and wait their turn for the food to get to them. Children learn to try a little of everything that comes around. (Although I am understanding about occasional food "hates" like Emily's absolute dislike for mushrooms. I still encourage her to try at least one little piece from the stir fry as it comes around.) Children learn to gauge how hungry they are and not to take too much on their first serving. They learn that they can ask politely for more when they finish their first portion. Children learn to think of others as they take the food from the bowl. If a child is the first one to take the roasted red potatoes, shiny with olive oil and fresh garlic (a family favorite) he must not take so many that there will not be enough for others to have some. And finally, they learn to dish their food carefully, so that they do not spill all over the table as they lift the spoon from the serving bowl to their own plates……..OR NOT!!!
Today, as I was reminding on of the younger children to please spoon his salad carefully from the serving bowl, my 14 year old, in the midst of taking his own salad, exploded it across half the table. Who knows how it happened? Maybe it was because the salad spoons were in the dishwasher and we were using makeshift utensils in the salad bowl. This was totally true. Maybe it was because he was starving because 14 year old boys are always starving after three hours of church. This was true as well. But it was funny nevertheless. Just as I was giving my mini "manners" lecture, manners and decorum completely left our table. We all laughed and laughed and then cleaned up carrot shreds throughout the meal.
Note: this post was made with the complete permission of Jacob, the 14 year old, starving, salad spewing, culprit!
At dinnertime we set the table with plates, cups, and silverware all in their proper places. We all come to the table together and have our family prayer and blessing on the food. We take our seats and then pass the serving bowls around the table. Sometimes I just serve the food, especially if it is a pot of hot soup. But I think there are lessons to be learned by passing the food around the table and letting each person serve himself.
Children learn to be patient and wait their turn for the food to get to them. Children learn to try a little of everything that comes around. (Although I am understanding about occasional food "hates" like Emily's absolute dislike for mushrooms. I still encourage her to try at least one little piece from the stir fry as it comes around.) Children learn to gauge how hungry they are and not to take too much on their first serving. They learn that they can ask politely for more when they finish their first portion. Children learn to think of others as they take the food from the bowl. If a child is the first one to take the roasted red potatoes, shiny with olive oil and fresh garlic (a family favorite) he must not take so many that there will not be enough for others to have some. And finally, they learn to dish their food carefully, so that they do not spill all over the table as they lift the spoon from the serving bowl to their own plates……..OR NOT!!!
Today, as I was reminding on of the younger children to please spoon his salad carefully from the serving bowl, my 14 year old, in the midst of taking his own salad, exploded it across half the table. Who knows how it happened? Maybe it was because the salad spoons were in the dishwasher and we were using makeshift utensils in the salad bowl. This was totally true. Maybe it was because he was starving because 14 year old boys are always starving after three hours of church. This was true as well. But it was funny nevertheless. Just as I was giving my mini "manners" lecture, manners and decorum completely left our table. We all laughed and laughed and then cleaned up carrot shreds throughout the meal.
Note: this post was made with the complete permission of Jacob, the 14 year old, starving, salad spewing, culprit!
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Cheaper By The Dozen?
How many families regularly receive notices from their electrical company informing them of their excessive use of electricity? We do!! I wondered if we were the only ones, but we have some friends who have eight children who have received similar notices. Every couple of months we receive another one, and today was the day.
We were told via informative little graphics that we use three times as much electricity per month as our most efficient neighbors and a little over twice as much as our nearest one hundred neighbors. It's kind of funny that we are being compared to neighbors, many of whom have only two people in their household, both with jobs so they are often out of the home during the day. No one else on our street has 9 people in their household who live, work, and go to school in their residence. We were also told that we could go to their website to find tips on how we could reduce our electricity usage. I checked out their tips tonight. To be honest we are already doing a good majority of their suggestions. I don't like large electricity bills, but with 9 people living in a home, homeschooling, and running a business out of our home…using a lot of electricity is just going to happen.
I am not complaining. In fact, we get a big kick out of it whenever another one of these letters arrives. We laughingly open the letter to "see how we did this time."
We do approximately two to three giant loads of laundry per day. Our dishwasher runs about three times a day. We bake bread twice a week, I hate to think how many showers and baths are taken. (In our house even using water needs electricity because we have a well, and the water is pumped using electricity.) My husband has computers for his home business and our children use computers for school. We really do not use many lights during the day as we have lots of natural light from windows. So that is one area where we are doing "well."
We have never figured out how many kilowatt hours we use per month per person in our family. If we did do that, I think we'd come off looking pretty good. After all, we always do full loads of laundry, we always fill the dishwasher to capacity, and having a light on in the family room for one person or nine, still costs the same amount of money. I'm sure we could cut our usage if we washed fewer clothes, took fewer showers, and washed our dishes less frequently, but I can't imagine the mess and the smell!!
Using more electricity is just one of the "side effects" of a large family, but I wouldn't trade even one of our precious children for a smaller electricity bill!!!!
We were told via informative little graphics that we use three times as much electricity per month as our most efficient neighbors and a little over twice as much as our nearest one hundred neighbors. It's kind of funny that we are being compared to neighbors, many of whom have only two people in their household, both with jobs so they are often out of the home during the day. No one else on our street has 9 people in their household who live, work, and go to school in their residence. We were also told that we could go to their website to find tips on how we could reduce our electricity usage. I checked out their tips tonight. To be honest we are already doing a good majority of their suggestions. I don't like large electricity bills, but with 9 people living in a home, homeschooling, and running a business out of our home…using a lot of electricity is just going to happen.
I am not complaining. In fact, we get a big kick out of it whenever another one of these letters arrives. We laughingly open the letter to "see how we did this time."
We do approximately two to three giant loads of laundry per day. Our dishwasher runs about three times a day. We bake bread twice a week, I hate to think how many showers and baths are taken. (In our house even using water needs electricity because we have a well, and the water is pumped using electricity.) My husband has computers for his home business and our children use computers for school. We really do not use many lights during the day as we have lots of natural light from windows. So that is one area where we are doing "well."
We have never figured out how many kilowatt hours we use per month per person in our family. If we did do that, I think we'd come off looking pretty good. After all, we always do full loads of laundry, we always fill the dishwasher to capacity, and having a light on in the family room for one person or nine, still costs the same amount of money. I'm sure we could cut our usage if we washed fewer clothes, took fewer showers, and washed our dishes less frequently, but I can't imagine the mess and the smell!!
Using more electricity is just one of the "side effects" of a large family, but I wouldn't trade even one of our precious children for a smaller electricity bill!!!!
Monday, October 14, 2013
Family Dinner
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! - CANADIAN STYLE!!
Because I was born in Canada and lived there my entire childhood we celebrate Thanksgiving twice each year at our house. Thanksgiving in Canada is celebrated on the 2nd Monday in October. That always coincides with the U.S. holiday of Columbus Day, but we seem to always make a bigger fuss over the Thanksgiving part at our house. Canada is further north than the United States and has an earlier harvest time and an earlier onset of winter, so it makes sense that the holiday is celebrated earlier. We always roast a turkey or at least a big chicken. We make pies and stuffing and often try to include what is left from the garden harvest in our feast. This year we shared the meal with some good friends and gave them a "lesson" about Canada after dinner.
As we prepared the tables, one in the kitchen and one in the family room, Jacob (14) said, "We really should have "fancy" meals like this more often." He's right. We really don't get out the tablecloths and the crystal glasses near as often as we should. He and Nathan (11) did a wonderful job setting the table complete with napkins carefully wrapped around the silverware.
Dallin H. Oakes in the October 2007 General Conference said this:
"The number of those who report that their "whole family usually eats dinner together" has declined 33 percent. This is most concerning because the time a family spends together "eating meals at home [is] the strongest predictor of children's academic achievement and psychological adjustment." Family mealtimes have also been shown to be a strong bulwark against children's smoking, drinking, or using drugs. There is inspired wisdom in this advice to parents; what your children really want for dinner is you."
Dinnertime is a special time at our house, not because we always get out the fancy dishes (of which we really don't own very many) or because we eat fancy food. It is special because we make a priority of eating together every single night, excluding date night. All day long we are busy studying, working, running, swimming, singing, practicing piano, reading, drawing and writing. I love that we have at least that dinner hour each day to come together and eat and talk and hear about the events of the day. We all do dishes together after the meal and that extends our together time just a little bit more. Our oldest at home right now, Benjamin, now has a job that means he misses dinner with the family twice a week. That has been less than optimal, but knowing that he is working hard to earn the money he will need to pay for his mission helps us accept the fact.
We don't always eat at the same time every night, due to schedules that are different from day to day, but what is important is that we eat together. Brandon is now away at university, Kyle is on a mission and Benjamin will be on his mission in another year. I now have the perspective I used to see in more experienced mothers when I had only young children. This time when our children are here with us living in our home is so short. Before you know it there are empty places at your "earthly dinner table." But when you take the time to strengthen family relationships and make your home alive with gospel learning and testimony, you can have peace in knowing that there will be no empty chairs at your family table in heaven.
President Ezra Taft Benson said in April 1984 General Conference:
"As parents and grandparents in Zion, it has been the shared hope of my wife and me that all of us will be together in the eternities- that all will be worthy, without a single empty chair. That is my fervent hope and prayer for each family in the Church."
Because I was born in Canada and lived there my entire childhood we celebrate Thanksgiving twice each year at our house. Thanksgiving in Canada is celebrated on the 2nd Monday in October. That always coincides with the U.S. holiday of Columbus Day, but we seem to always make a bigger fuss over the Thanksgiving part at our house. Canada is further north than the United States and has an earlier harvest time and an earlier onset of winter, so it makes sense that the holiday is celebrated earlier. We always roast a turkey or at least a big chicken. We make pies and stuffing and often try to include what is left from the garden harvest in our feast. This year we shared the meal with some good friends and gave them a "lesson" about Canada after dinner.
As we prepared the tables, one in the kitchen and one in the family room, Jacob (14) said, "We really should have "fancy" meals like this more often." He's right. We really don't get out the tablecloths and the crystal glasses near as often as we should. He and Nathan (11) did a wonderful job setting the table complete with napkins carefully wrapped around the silverware.
Dallin H. Oakes in the October 2007 General Conference said this:
"The number of those who report that their "whole family usually eats dinner together" has declined 33 percent. This is most concerning because the time a family spends together "eating meals at home [is] the strongest predictor of children's academic achievement and psychological adjustment." Family mealtimes have also been shown to be a strong bulwark against children's smoking, drinking, or using drugs. There is inspired wisdom in this advice to parents; what your children really want for dinner is you."
Dinnertime is a special time at our house, not because we always get out the fancy dishes (of which we really don't own very many) or because we eat fancy food. It is special because we make a priority of eating together every single night, excluding date night. All day long we are busy studying, working, running, swimming, singing, practicing piano, reading, drawing and writing. I love that we have at least that dinner hour each day to come together and eat and talk and hear about the events of the day. We all do dishes together after the meal and that extends our together time just a little bit more. Our oldest at home right now, Benjamin, now has a job that means he misses dinner with the family twice a week. That has been less than optimal, but knowing that he is working hard to earn the money he will need to pay for his mission helps us accept the fact.
We don't always eat at the same time every night, due to schedules that are different from day to day, but what is important is that we eat together. Brandon is now away at university, Kyle is on a mission and Benjamin will be on his mission in another year. I now have the perspective I used to see in more experienced mothers when I had only young children. This time when our children are here with us living in our home is so short. Before you know it there are empty places at your "earthly dinner table." But when you take the time to strengthen family relationships and make your home alive with gospel learning and testimony, you can have peace in knowing that there will be no empty chairs at your family table in heaven.
President Ezra Taft Benson said in April 1984 General Conference:
"As parents and grandparents in Zion, it has been the shared hope of my wife and me that all of us will be together in the eternities- that all will be worthy, without a single empty chair. That is my fervent hope and prayer for each family in the Church."
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Bedside Chats
Bedside chats with little ones come naturally. We have to help them get their jammies on, brush their teeth, say their prayers, then we tuck them in bed and read a story, ask them about their day, and then maybe sing a few songs. But with older children, those opportunities do not present themselves as often.
At our house, bedside chats with our older children have become pretty standard. Only they don't happen in the way you might think. Our bedside chats with these big kids happen not at their bedside, but on mine and Jerry's bed in our bedroom. In the evening after the younger children are asleep, the house quiets down, and that is the time that we love to catch up with our older children. During the day I am so busy tending to dirty diapers, spills, owies, helping with schoolwork and chores, getting children from point A to point B, fixing meals and doing laundry, that (other than when I am sitting still nursing) I am probably pretty hard to have a decent conversation with. But in the evening Jerry and I have always told our children…we are ALWAYS free to talk with you.
When a child comes into our room and sets down on the bed, we put our own conversation and books aside and give that child our attention. It is at these times that we hear of their worries and struggles, their triumphs, what they look forward to, and help them find answers to their questions and problems. Sometimes we talk of world events and sometimes just of the events in their own lives. We love the uninterrupted time to really focus on them and their needs. I will admit that it seems that our older children are at their most talkative after 9:30 at night, but it is worth losing a little, or maybe a lot of sleep to have these close moments with them. Because we have a number of older children in our family right now, another child will often pop in the door and plop down on the bed as soon as the other is finished.
Tonight I had a great chat with Benjamin, age 17, whose life is very busy right now with seminary, ballroom dancing at the high school, online college classes and working to earn money for his mission. I heard of his frustration with one online class, an update of how his "running" injury is healing up, and of the regular communications he's been having with his older brother at BYU. We talked of his plans for the next year as he prepares for his mission. We ended with Mom getting a kiss goodnight and him knowing how very much I love him. Yeah…its 10:30 now, I still have a few more things to finish up before bed, and I know that my day will start early tomorrow, but it was worth it.
At our house, bedside chats with our older children have become pretty standard. Only they don't happen in the way you might think. Our bedside chats with these big kids happen not at their bedside, but on mine and Jerry's bed in our bedroom. In the evening after the younger children are asleep, the house quiets down, and that is the time that we love to catch up with our older children. During the day I am so busy tending to dirty diapers, spills, owies, helping with schoolwork and chores, getting children from point A to point B, fixing meals and doing laundry, that (other than when I am sitting still nursing) I am probably pretty hard to have a decent conversation with. But in the evening Jerry and I have always told our children…we are ALWAYS free to talk with you.
When a child comes into our room and sets down on the bed, we put our own conversation and books aside and give that child our attention. It is at these times that we hear of their worries and struggles, their triumphs, what they look forward to, and help them find answers to their questions and problems. Sometimes we talk of world events and sometimes just of the events in their own lives. We love the uninterrupted time to really focus on them and their needs. I will admit that it seems that our older children are at their most talkative after 9:30 at night, but it is worth losing a little, or maybe a lot of sleep to have these close moments with them. Because we have a number of older children in our family right now, another child will often pop in the door and plop down on the bed as soon as the other is finished.
Tonight I had a great chat with Benjamin, age 17, whose life is very busy right now with seminary, ballroom dancing at the high school, online college classes and working to earn money for his mission. I heard of his frustration with one online class, an update of how his "running" injury is healing up, and of the regular communications he's been having with his older brother at BYU. We talked of his plans for the next year as he prepares for his mission. We ended with Mom getting a kiss goodnight and him knowing how very much I love him. Yeah…its 10:30 now, I still have a few more things to finish up before bed, and I know that my day will start early tomorrow, but it was worth it.
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