A Hill and a Hole

A long time ago I read in a book that every child needs a "hill and a hole."  What they meant by that is that children, by nature, all love wild places…places where they can dig and climb and get messy without being told how to play or where to play…or where not to play. 

When we moved to our home here over fifteen years ago our yard needed some leveling.  We have an acre of property and so, since we had the space, we had the backhoe guy build  a nice big hill in the very back of our land with the extra dirt from the leveling.  Over the years that hill has provided so much fun for our children.  In the early spring wild grass covers it making it an ideal hiding place.  In the winter, covered with snow, it becomes a great mini sledding hill.  They build jumps at the bottom to get an even wilder ride.  One year, after reading the Great Brain by J.D. Fitzgerald, Brandon and Kyle decided to dig a cave into the hill.  Wearing their protective safety goggles, they looked very official. It's also used as a "lookout tower" by children using binoculars.  

In the back of our property we have one corner where we have dumped rocks through the years that we have removed in the course of landscaping our yard.  Our children have turned that area of the yard into their own secret fort area.  They've dug a big hole and covered it with spare boards to make a hideout.  Rocks are used to create rooms and lookouts.  The game changes every time they play.  Sometimes they forget about the fort for a while and when they rediscover it the game starts anew and is fun all over again. 

Our big old dirt hill may not be the most aesthetically pleasing aspect of our yard, but it has provided hours and hours of fun for our children and their friends.  "A hill and a hole" has been a blessing to our family.

Seminary Graduation

In the Book of Mormon there is a scripture that has been a favorite and is often quoted from memory in our family.  It is found in Alma 37:35

"Oh remember my son, and learn wisdom in thy youth, yea learn in thy youth to keep the commandments of God."

Seminary is a program of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints that began over 100 years ago.  It is specifically designed for youth ages 14 to 18.  Students meet daily or every other day with enthusiastic, knowledgeable teachers to study the scriptures.  Each year a different portion of the scriptures is covered; Book of Mormon, Old Testament, New Testament and the Doctrine and Covenants. 

As our youth have participated in seminary I have felt that it is an inspired program.  Our youth need to have opportunities during the week to study the gospel and feel of the Lord's spirit.  And it is inspiring for them to be learning with other youth who want the same in their lives.

In October of 1977, Boyd K Packer was addressing a group of Church Educational System educators.  This was over thirty years ago and his words continue to be true today.

“In the history of the Church there is no better illustration of the prophetic preparation of this people than the beginnings of the seminary and institute program. These programs were started when they were nice but were not critically needed. They were granted a season to flourish and to grow into a bulwark for the Church. They now become a godsend for the salvation of modern Israel in a most challenging hour.”

This past week, our son, Benjamin graduated from  seminary.  I am so proud of him, and grateful for the wonderful teachers he has had over the last four years.  I know that the things he has learned will help him to be a better missionary.  They will bless him as he studies at university.  They will bless him as he marries and starts a family.  Their effects will trickle down and bless his posterity to come.
 

Mommy's Little Helper

Recently I've been struggling with getting my dishes done.  I have a dishwasher.  I even have lots of children to help with our mountains of dirty dishes.  But we also have a sweet little one year old that wants to help as well.  Our dishwasher beeps every time it is opened and closed.  When David hears the beep he crawls as fast as he possibly can, from wherever he is, toward the dishwasher.  He is fascinated by the dishwasher.  Once I've removed the clean sharp knives from the utensil rack I have no problem with him standing at the dishwasher "helping."  He loves to play in the little bits of warm clean water clinging to the open door of the dishwasher.  He loves to pull out plastic bowls and plates as fast as he can and fling them to the floor.  It is a race between him and me.  I pull the glassware out of the bottom rack as fast as I possibly can so that he cannot get his little hands on it.  He laughs mischievously as he grabs a glass cup before I can get to it.  When I turn my back to put something in the cupboard, he is climbing into the dishwasher.  It is adorable!!!

But when it is time to load the dishwasher he wants to be there as well.  I'm sure that the dirty forks and spoons from breakfast are loaded with "flavor" and those are what he goes after first thing.  I find I am constantly looking for times of the day when he is busy with a brother or sister, or napping, so that I can finally load the dishwasher.  I find myself saying to the other children, "Don't worry about loading your dishes right now.  David is right there."  Now that is something I never ever thought I would say to a child.  Instead I find myself saying, "Please, just hold him back for two seconds so that I can get these dirty dishes in." 

Now, just to set the record straight…I am definitely not complaining, because I know that before another year is through, David will actually be capable of helping with the chore.  I keep a bottom drawer in my kitchen strictly for children's plastic cups, bowls and plates.  The first chore that my children learn to do is to put the clean plastic dishes from the dishwasher into this drawer.  I welcome this stage with open arms.  Little ones are absolutely delighted to be able to help in such a big kid way.  I want to encourage it in every way possible.

Sophia is now 3 and can put away the plastics now.  She also knows where to put the measuring cups and spoons, cutting boards, and large cooking utensils like wooden spoons and spatulas.  If you were to look in my kitchen drawers you would either think that I am a terribly disorganized woman, or you would assume that my little children help in the kitchen.  If you chose the second option you would be right.  Occasionally my drawers get organized properly by myself or an older child, but usually they look like a 3 year old has helped.  And I am proud of that fact!  I want to instill in Sophie at this young age that her help is needed and appreciated in our family. 
 
This quote from President David O McKay sums up what we should strive to teach our children regarding work.

"Let us realize that the privilege to work is a gift, that power to work is a blessing, and that love of work is success." (Pathways to Happiness [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1957], p. 381)

Lessons Our Children Teach Us

 

On our recent trip to Disneyland we found a hotel where we could get two adjoining rooms that accommodated our family quite well.  On our last morning Jerry and I packed up the food and belongings for ourselves and the little ones in our room, while the children picked up and packed in the adjoining room.  Shortly before we were to leave, I walked into the other room to look for items under the beds, in the bathroom, and in the drawers, that might have been missed.  I noticed a nicely folded blanket on one of the beds, as well as a mountain of wet, but nicely folded towels.  On top of each pile was a note.  I smiled as I read them, then took a couple of quick pictures to save a sweet memory.  My daughters are wonderful examples to me of gratitude and service toward others.

Potty Training - the Disney Way

I've never been excited about potty training. When Brandon (turning 22 years old this coming week) turned two and people started asking me if I was potty training him, I figured it must be time to start.  I picked up the book, "Potty training in less than a day" from the library, armed myself with snacks and drinks and a fun sticker chart, got a babysitter for Kyle for the morning and decided to give it a go.  By noon, both he and I were done.  I felt like crying, he was not enjoying being confined to the kitchen despite all my fun snacks and enthusiasm, and I was frustrated that my careful reading of the book had not yielded the desired results.  That experience put a bad taste in my mouth for potty training that I've never really been able to get rid of.

However, I have figured out what works best for me when it comes to potty training.  It’s the same answer that I have found works for almost every parenting, mothering and other family related question.  And that is, listen to advice from others, but above all else, listen to the spirit.  I love to read books and blogs and web sites and to pick the brains of other Moms who've experienced things I am going through.  But when it comes down to deciding exactly what is best for my family, I listen to the spirit.  There is a scripture that tells us to "study out in our mind" and then ask God what we should do.  I testify that in mothering…this really works.

I  potty train in a very relaxed, child led way.  I have never, since that first miserable experience, tried to do it in a day.  Instead, it is a gradual experience over a number of months, culminating in a week or so of more focused practice.    I watch for clues in my child that she is ready.  Can she pull her pants up and down?  Is she able to sit still and relax long enough to "let the pee come?"  Is she interested?  Does she hate having a dirty diaper?  Does she walk off to "do her business?"  These readiness signs are not rocket science.  They are found in almost every potty training book.  Mostly, I wait for my child to be willing and ready.  I want my child to want to be potty trained.  I have no desire to force it when she is not ready. 

I have a portable potty chair.  I also have a small seat that sits on a regular toilet seat.  I prefer to teach my little ones to use a regular toilet as it makes it much easier when we are out and about.  But at the same time, I let the child choose which potty to use each time.  I get the potty chairs out and let the child get used to seeing them, asking occasionally if she wants to sit down on one.  Usually, the first time a child is successful, it catches her by surprise.  We make a huge deal of it and call Grandma and anyone else who we think might be interested.  It is often a long time before the child goes again.  But that is ok.  She remembers her success, continues to watch and learn as older siblings and parents use the potty, and someday she will be ready to try again.

Sophia recently turned 3 and has had quite a few experiences being successful on the potty, but has not been excited to begin using it all the time and even the promise of big girl underwear has not been incentive for her.  And as a busy Mom of 9, who doesn't get all that excited about potty training another child herself, I'm afraid I haven't made it much of a priority either. 

Potty training takes some focus on my part.  I need to not be too busy with projects or running around too many places.  It takes a few days of just staying at home.  Heavenly Father usually prompts me as to when it would be a good time for me to "potty train."  It is as important that the time is right for me, as it is for the time to be right for my child.  Until last week it just never seemed like the right time.  The right time kind of caught me by surprise.  It happened on our recent trip………

You know you are a busy Mom when it is easier to potty train your little one on vacation than when you are at home.  We returned just last weekend from a magical trip to Disneyland.  I was surprised to find, that Sophia, resistant to using the potty at home, thought that the public bathrooms at Disneyland were great fun.  Every couple of hours found us searching out a restroom for someone or other, and she decided that going in with Mom was preferable to sitting in the stroller with whoever was staying out with the baby. And that consistency was just what she needed to make using the potty a habit.   She used the big potty regularly throughout our trip.  When we got home she continued using the potty and staying dry most of the time.  Today we made the long awaited trip to the store to let her pick out her own big girl underwear.  Of course, she wanted "Minnie Mouse."  Another few days and I think we will have conquered potty training with yet another child.  "Yippee!!" 

Sophia told me today that she will give all of her diapers to David.  So generous of her, don't you think?

Big Boys and Babies

My mother has often told me that when I was born (their first child) they no longer needed a television.  I was all the entertainment they needed.  I am a baby watcher as well.  Actually, I get great enjoyment out of watching all my children, no matter the age. 

 

Top of my list to watch, are the interactions between my big boys and my youngest children.  In my opinion, babies and big boys are an awesome combination.  They bring out the absolute best in each other. 

 

Watching my 12 year old Nathan reading to 3 year old Sophia, or playing with her on the floor with the wooden train is so sweet to see.  Watching 14 year old Jacob play a very rousing and "macho" game of peekaboo on the couch with 11 month old David gets us all smiling.  David never enjoys peekaboo with me the way he enjoys it with Jacob.  Sophia and Jacob have a special relationship that began when she was tiny.  Sophia calls all of her big brothers, "her boys."  She loves them so much.  It's always fun to watch the older boys playing out on the trampoline with their younger sisters, or chasing them around on their hands and knees.  Today I watched David's face light up like nothing else when Benjamin, 17, lifted him high into the air balanced on one hand.  It gave my heart a bit of a workout, but David thought it was better than Disneyland.
 

 

Having babies in the house gives my big boys many opportunities each day to offer service and a helping hand.  The little ones come to them often to ask for a drink, or "Can you cut my apple," or "Can you get this zipper unstuck?"  The little ones ask countless questions each day and my big boys humor them and give them answers.  They smile and exclaim in awe and amazement when Sophie comes down dressed up and says, "I'm a ballerina today!" 
  

No matter how tired, or frustrated, or weary from a long day, the boys always have a smile and a cheerful hello for the little ones.  I love to hear the loving baby talk tone they use when they talk to them.  Little ones bring out the softer side of my boys.  And the fun loving nature of my boys is so appreciated by the babies.  Brothers are much more exciting and fun than their mother. 

 

I've often felt that my last two children came at just the right time for Jacob and Nathan.  At this time in their young lives, Sophia and David are "just what the doctor prescribed."  Jacob told me the other day that he enjoys how Sophie and David just love and adore him; they are never critical and judgmental.  They just love him unconditionally.  It's true.  Little children are like that aren't they?  They demonstrate that true love of Christ without any effort.
 

I'm grateful that my big boys have opportunities every day to appreciate the innocence and love of little children, and to understand why the scriptures admonish us "older folks" to be like little children.

 

In the June 2000 Ensign, First Presidency message, President Thomas S. Monson said,

 

"…may the laughter of children gladden our hearts. May the faith of children soothe our souls. May the love of children prompt our deeds. “Children are an heritage of the Lord.”  May our Heavenly Father ever bless these sweet souls, these special friends of the Master."

You Are Special

Tonight we took the family to a sweet presentation at our local elementary school.  It was a musical/dance interpretation of the book "You are Special" by Max Lucado.  We are friends with the talented teacher who organized it, and her son and daughter, who wrote the music for the production, are friends of our children.  It was an extremely touching presentation. 

If you are unfamiliar with the story, here is a summary.  The Wemmicks are puppets who live out their days in their village putting stars and dots on one another.  The stars are like "praise" and the dots are "criticism."  Some puppets are covered in stars while some poor puppets have nothing but dots.  Punchinello is one of those unfortunate puppets.  He can never seem to do anything right and is covered in dots.  But one day he meets Lucia.  She is different than all the other puppets.  She has neither stars nor dots sticking to her.  In fact, if someone tries to give her a star or a dot, it just falls off.  And yet she seems so happy.  Punchinello is intrigued and asks why the stickers don't stick to her.  She tells him that it is because she goes to visit the Eli the woodcarver every day.  The woodcarver is the one who made each and every puppet.  Punchinello decides to visit Eli himself and learns some important truths. 

He learns that Eli, the woodcarver, values him no matter what others in the village may think.  Punchinello asks him, "Why do I matter to you?"  Eli says, "Because you're mine, That's why you matter to me."  He asks Eli why the stickers don't stick to Lucia.  Eli tells him that they don't stick because Lucia has realized that what the woodcarver thinks about her is more important than what anybody else thinks.  "The more you trust MY love, the less you care about their stickers."

As Punchinello leaves, Eli tells him one last, very important thing,

"Remember, you are special because I made you, and I don't make mistakes."

When Punchinello internalizes this last comment and realizes its truth, a dot falls off of him onto the ground.

What a beautiful story for my children, and for me too.  I started to cry as  the girl playing Lucia danced in such a free and beautiful way.  I could see how knowing what she knows can help all of us to live our own lives in more free and beautiful ways.  When we realize ourselves and can help our children realize that their true worth comes from being children of God, and that what he thinks is more important than what the world thinks, we have something truly special in our lives. 

Way back in 1973, in the April General Conference, in a talk entitled "In His Strength",Elder Marvin J. Ashton said,

"In the kingdom of our Heavenly Father no man is a nobody."

He also said,

"To mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, and children everywhere, we declare that regardless of your present station in life you are someone special.  Remember, you may be an obscure boy, girl, man, or woman, but you are not a "nobody."