You Raise Me Up

Our son, Kyle, has been on a two year mission to England.  In just two days he returns home to us and we are so excited.  He has a beautiful voice and I look forward to hearing him sing and having him join with the family in singing again.  He sings a popular song by Josh Grobin called, You Raise Me Up.  Every time he sings that song I get chills up and down my spine and tears in my eyes. 

The lyrics of that song go like this:

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.
There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

CHORUS
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

I was thinking about Kyle tonight, and thinking about that song.  I often think of my Heavenly Father as Kyle sings.  The Lord raises me up each day and helps me to conquer my mountains and stormy seas.  When I am ever so weary and troubled, I can find a quiet place (not always easy to do) and let him fill my soul with hope and peace. 

But tonight I am thinking about that song a little differently.  I am thinking about my eternal sweetheart, Jerry.  Jerry and I have been married over 23 years now.  He is my best friend and my best cheerleader.  Not a day goes by that he does not tell me that I am "the most beautiful woman that he's seen all day."  He regularly reminds our children that he is only "the second best" and that their mother is the "first best."  He is strong when I am weak.  He has so much confidence in me and helps me to be "more than I can be."  And he never leaves me to climb those mountains and walk those stormy seas alone.  All of our struggles and challenges…we work through together. 

And when I look at Jerry, I do glimpse eternity.  I cannot imagine eternity without him.  We have spent more years of our lives in mortality together than not.  I am grateful for the strength he gives to me, for the wonderful husband, father and provider and father that he is.  And I am thrilled to know that I will be with him for eternity.

I Want to be Elastigirl

Today I ran errands with only Sophia and David.  It was fun to have all that time in the car and in the stores to just enjoy Sophia's 3 year old chatter.  Today I found out that Sophia thinks I am a superhero…somewhere in the same vein as Elastigirl!!  I knew that it was snacktime so I bought some bananas at our first stop and offered her a banana to eat in the car while we drove to our next destination.  She declined saying, "I will just wait and eat the samples at Costco."  I had to smile at that one.  We got in our belts and headed off.  After several minutes of driving the inevitable cries of "I'm hungry," started.  Sophia said, "I'm ready for my banana now.  Can you give it to me."  When I tried to explain that I couldn't as I was driving, she had a very simple answer.  "Just climb back here and give it to me while you keep on driving." I drive a great big passenger van with three benches behind the front seats.  She was in the second bench back.   I answered, "I don't think I can do that."  She simply stated, "Yes you can!"  Oh, if I only had the stretchable arms of Helen Parr, aka Elastigirl, aka Mrs. Incredible.  Sophia did survive the drive however, and never did need her banana.  She got her fill at the sample tables at Costco!

After the Scone...it could only get better!!

With Valentines Day being just this past weekend I found myself thinking about other Valentines Days that Jerry and I have shared together.  Two particular Valentines Days stick out in my memory.

The first Valentines Day that Jerry and I celebrated together was when we'd only been dating a short time.  We had met for the first time the beginning of January, had our first date a couple of weeks later and by February 14th we were already feeling that we might be destined to spend forever together.  Jerry worked all day long on Valentines Day and we only had the evening to be together.  He dropped by my apartment on the way home from work and handed me a warm fresh scone wrapped up in a napkin.  (At the time he worked in a fast food restaurant that specialized in scones and honey butter, fried mozzarella and fried pickles.)   "Happy Valentines Day,"  he said.  I got a big hug and…and that was it.  No flowers, no chocolate, no sentimental card….just a scone.  I'd eaten dinner already so I stuck the scone in the fridge for later.  I think I may have forgotten about it.  I don't remember ever eating it.  Sometime later, after our marriage, the Valentine's Day scone came up in conversation.  Apparently he'd gone to the trouble of making me a heart shaped scone. And I hadn't even noticed the cute shape. Of course, when he fried the scone and it cooked and puffed up, the shape was a little sketchy.  But  it was a sweet offering from the man who loved me  very much, didn't have much money, but who still wanted to do something creative and special for me on Valentines Day.  I still feel bad to this day that I didn't realize that he'd been giving me a gift.  Of course…we've kissed and made up by now….and if he ever gives me a warm scone on Valentines Day ever again, I'll be sure to check it closely to see if it is shaped like a heart.

A number of years back I took a trip to visit my parents….without Jerry. He stayed home to work, feed and look after the five boys, and run them around to their activities.   I took our two youngest with me (at the time that was Olivia and Emily).  We flew to Seattle and my parents picked us up at the airport and drove us up to Canada.   We had a wonderful visit and flew home on Valentines Day.  Flying with two small children is not very fun and I was not really looking forward to the flight.  We pulled up to the curb so that I could get my luggage checked outside and not have to haul it through the airport when all of a sudden I saw this crazy guy holding a sign that said something like, "Will work for wife and children."    I felt utterly confused.  I was sitting in the car with my mother, but there was my husband…yes, he was the crazy guy with the sign.  Was I in Seattle?  Was I in Salt Lake City?  What was going on?  It took me a couple of minutes to process everything and even when Jerry opened the car door to let me out, I think the confusion on my face was apparent.  He had decided to surprise me for Valentines.  He flew to Seattle early that morning…so he could fly home with us.  Once I finally got my head back on straight, I gave him a hug and a kiss, and we laughed and enjoyed a flight home together. 

Elder Russell M. Nelson (April 2006 General Conference) reminds us that we need to celebrate our love for our spouse each and every day not just on Valentines Day.  He says:

"Marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than does any other human relationship. Yet some married couples fall short of their full potential. They let their romance become rusty, take each other for granted, allow other interests or clouds of neglect to obscure the vision of what their marriage really could be. Marriages would be happier if nurtured more carefully.

Celebrate and commemorate each day together as a treasured gift from heaven."

My son, Nathan was in the room on Valentines Day listening to my mother talking to my father on the phone.  Mom and my brother David have been visiting this past week, and my Mom and Dad had to spend Valentines Day hundreds of miles from each other.  As my Mom expressed her love for my Dad and gave him kisses and hugs over the phone, Nathan got a funny look in his eyes that his Grandma noticed.  When she got off the phone she said, "Yup!!!  Even old people who've been married for a very long time, still feel that way.  In fact, they love each other more and more as the years go by."  What a great thing for my 13 year old to see the love that his grandparents still have for each other after more than 40 years.

Answers

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf has counseled us:

"As you prepare for general conference, I invite you to ponder questions you need to have answered. For example, you might yearn for direction and guidance by the Lord regarding challenges you are facing.

Answers to your specific prayers may come directly from a particular talk or from a specific phrase. At other times answers may come in a seemingly unrelated word, phrase, or song. A heart filled with gratitude for the blessings of life and an earnest desire to hear and follow the words of counsel will prepare the way for personal revelation."
(Ensign, September 2011)

I have heard council similar to this many times from Sunday school and Relief Society teachers, bishopric members and general authorities, that we ought to come to General Conference with a prayer in our heart and a question or problem for which we need  an answer or guidance.  This weekend was our stake conference and I took the opportunity to go with a very specific question that I've been struggling to find the answer to. 
 
When I heard the topic for the Saturday night session, I wondered to myself, "How will I ever receive the answer I need when the focus is on this particular topic?"  I listened carefully through the meeting with a prayer in my heart that somehow I would get the answer I needed.  I enjoyed every talk but in the last five minutes of the very last talk, I knew that what I was hearing was part of the answer I had been seeking.  During the Sunday morning session, I went hoping to receive more inspiration and answers.  In a talk that was not even listed on the program I found what I needed.  The Lord was mindful of me this weekend and I feel invigorated and renewed to tackle the challenges I face.  My testimony of personal revelation has also been strengthened and I am inspired to more quickly include the Lord in my day to day activities as a wife and mother. 

The End of Missionary Mondays

In every mission of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, missionaries are given the time and expected to email or write their families once a week.  Typically they are asked to email/write on their p-day.  This is a "preparation" day given to missionaries one day a week for them to buy groceries, do laundry, clean their apartments, enjoy activities with other missionaries, and…. Write their families. 

Monday is the most prevalent day chosen for the missionary p-days throughout the missions of the church.  And so…. "missionary Moms" and of course the rest of the family too… love Mondays.  When your missionary is overseas, as when Brandon was in Uganda, and Kyle, who is now in England, you wake up Monday morning, and more likely than not, your email from your missionary will already be there just waiting for you to open it.  It is a great way to start your Monday morning. 

Since Benjamin left on his mission this past July, (he is in New Mexico) we have had two missionaries serving in our family.  So we've been having double the fun reading emails from our boys each week.  BUT NOT JUST ON MONDAYS.  In Benjamin's mission they have their p-day on Tuesday.  So for the past 6 months we have been hearing from Kyle on Monday and Benjamin on Tuesdays. 

Kyle will be returning home from his two year mission in Birmingham England in less than 6 weeks.  We have his flight itinerary and that just makes it seem more real.  It is hard to believe that our son and brother will be home so soon.  We have missed him dearly and cannot wait to see him and hug him in person.  He has served well and enjoyed it so much, and we can tell that he has grown and is coming home a man. 
 
But this will mean the end of "missionary Mondays" for our family.  For the rest of Benjamin's mission, we will be enjoying "Missionary Tuesdays!"  That just doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?  But we will be loving every Tuesday because we will be hearing from our son/brother who is serving the Lord far (well, maybe not so far) from home.

Ripples

I like to memorize poetry with my children.  I want to fill their minds with beautiful thoughts that will come to them as they go throughout their day; thoughts that will help them to make good choices, thoughts that will make them smile or laugh when they do not have much to smile or laugh about, thoughts that will uplift their spirits and inspire them to do good in the world. 

A favorite poem of mine that we have memorized is called, simply, "Kindness."  (anonymous author) It goes like this. 

Drop a stone into the water -
In a moment it is gone,
But there are a hundred ripples
Circling on and on and on.

Say an unkind word this moment
In a moment it is gone
But there are a hundred ripples
Circling on and on and on.

Say a word of cheer and splendor
In a moment it is gone
But there are a hundred ripples
Circling on and on and on.

I've been thinking a lot this week about a family that we know and love so much.  Jerry and I met them when we moved into their ward.  We'd only been married a year.  After living in the ward less than a year, we were blessed to move into the house right next door to theirs. 
 
In the 5 years that we lived there this family was a blessing in our lives and the ripples that their kind words and loving examples began are still being felt in our family today.  Jerry and I watched this wonderful man and woman as they nurtured their marriage through going to the temple together, and went on regular dates.  We watched as they raised their children, making sure that their children played together, worked together and served together.  We watched as they faithfully took their older children to do baptisms for the dead at the temple.  We were blessed by their daughters as they babysat every week for us so that we too could have dates and regular temple visits.  They would never let us pay them when we were at the temple, and were genuinely grateful for the opportunity.  They always made us feel like we were serving them by allowing them to watch our children, instead of the other way around. 

I remember one time when this couple took Jerry and me out to lunch and then to a play…. all on them.  We had very little money to spend on entertainment and this was such a treat for us. They told us that each year they bought seasons tickets to a particular playhouse as a special gift to themselves.  It helped them to have a really nice date now and then.  Actually…they bought TWO sets of seasons tickets.  That way, they could take another couple with them occasionally, or maybe some of their children.  Once in a while they just gave those second tickets away to someone who they thought might enjoy them.  We were the blessed couple that one time and we have never forgotten it. 

This Christmas Jerry and I decided to give ourselves seasons tickets to that same playhouse.  With our baby a little older, he is getting easier to leave, and we've made a goal to have more regular dates this year.  Thank you so much Verna and Terry for your love, for your wonderful children, for your great example, for your devotion to each other, and to the gospel of Jesus Christ.  The ripples that you set in motion so many years ago are still being felt and on continuing to circle "on and on and on."

Twas the Night Before Christmas...

…actually, technically it is already Christmas.  My clock says 1:04am and I am in my "kerchief"  (actually I am wearing my favorite jammies given to me by my sweet husband last Christmas) and Jerry is in his "cap" getting ready to settle down for our long winter's nap…until David wakes to nurse which will inevitably happen sometime before the sun rises.  Jerry and I have finished up our last minute preparations and are finally ready to get some sleep.

The "children are nestled down snug in their beds" ….actually they are sleeping in the basement.      Three are laying across the hide-a-bed, another on a couch and another on the floor.  Sophia stayed down with them for a while but toddled up to her bedroom to fall asleep with her "flower" nightlight to keep her company. 

We've had a nice evening together.  Homemade pizza for dinner, dropping off surprises, visiting with neighbors, catching up with our college age son Brandon, and a rather hectic attempt at recreating the nativity "shadow play style."  We hung a sheet in the basement and shone a light behind it and our actors went behind the sheet as we narrated and sang, complete with a few brief pieces of Handel's Messiah.  Joseph (David - age 19 months) had just been dressed in his costume when he began signing that he wanted to nurse.  Then he gave his sign for "go to sleep."  Then he waved goodbye to everyone which he does every night before I take him up to bed.  So we had to find another Joseph.  Emily volunteered, so we changed her out of her angel costume and into a Joseph costume.  Meanwhile, due to the long wait, Sophia had begun doing "tricks" on the floor and her Mary costume was all in disarray.  I put her back together when she decided that she would rather be Joseph.  Before I could disagree, she had her costume completely off and she and Emily started switching costumes.  I thought we were never going to have our annual nativity tonight.  It all finally came together and was worth the effort. 

Before bed we gathered around the Christmas tree.  Each child in our family gets to open a gift on Christmas Eve.  Before we begin unwrapping we talk about why we have this tradition in our family.  Every year we retell the story.  When my mother was only five years old, her father was killed in a small plane crash right before Christmas.  My grandmother was left with five very young children, one just a tiny infant.  On Christmas Eve, she let her little girls open up one gift each, to make the night seem extra special for this little family who was grieving the loss of their Daddy and husband.  As I grew up my parents continued this tradition, and Jerry and I have continued this tradition in our own family. 
 
Then its off to bed…actually we let the kids watch a Christmas movie in the basement while Jerry and I cleaned up from dinner and finished up with our wrapping and other Christmas secrets.  Now they are all asleep and the house is quiet…except for Jerry accidentally setting off the home security alarm when he quickly opened the sliding door to bring in the shoes on the back porch that were getting wet in the rain just beginning to come down. 

I'll have to ask the kids in the morning if they heard it.  If they did, I'm sure this will be remembered forever as the year that Santa set off our security alarm.

As I sit here typing I can hear what sounds like very icy rain hitting the roof.  The weatherman is promising snow for Christmas and the kids are all hoping to wake to snow on the ground.  I sure hope they get their wish.  As it gets colder through the night, I hope this rain will turn to snow so we can have a "white" Christmas.