Big Boys and Babies

My mother has often told me that when I was born (their first child) they no longer needed a television.  I was all the entertainment they needed.  I am a baby watcher as well.  Actually, I get great enjoyment out of watching all my children, no matter the age. 

 

Top of my list to watch, are the interactions between my big boys and my youngest children.  In my opinion, babies and big boys are an awesome combination.  They bring out the absolute best in each other. 

 

Watching my 12 year old Nathan reading to 3 year old Sophia, or playing with her on the floor with the wooden train is so sweet to see.  Watching 14 year old Jacob play a very rousing and "macho" game of peekaboo on the couch with 11 month old David gets us all smiling.  David never enjoys peekaboo with me the way he enjoys it with Jacob.  Sophia and Jacob have a special relationship that began when she was tiny.  Sophia calls all of her big brothers, "her boys."  She loves them so much.  It's always fun to watch the older boys playing out on the trampoline with their younger sisters, or chasing them around on their hands and knees.  Today I watched David's face light up like nothing else when Benjamin, 17, lifted him high into the air balanced on one hand.  It gave my heart a bit of a workout, but David thought it was better than Disneyland.
 

 

Having babies in the house gives my big boys many opportunities each day to offer service and a helping hand.  The little ones come to them often to ask for a drink, or "Can you cut my apple," or "Can you get this zipper unstuck?"  The little ones ask countless questions each day and my big boys humor them and give them answers.  They smile and exclaim in awe and amazement when Sophie comes down dressed up and says, "I'm a ballerina today!" 
  

No matter how tired, or frustrated, or weary from a long day, the boys always have a smile and a cheerful hello for the little ones.  I love to hear the loving baby talk tone they use when they talk to them.  Little ones bring out the softer side of my boys.  And the fun loving nature of my boys is so appreciated by the babies.  Brothers are much more exciting and fun than their mother. 

 

I've often felt that my last two children came at just the right time for Jacob and Nathan.  At this time in their young lives, Sophia and David are "just what the doctor prescribed."  Jacob told me the other day that he enjoys how Sophie and David just love and adore him; they are never critical and judgmental.  They just love him unconditionally.  It's true.  Little children are like that aren't they?  They demonstrate that true love of Christ without any effort.
 

I'm grateful that my big boys have opportunities every day to appreciate the innocence and love of little children, and to understand why the scriptures admonish us "older folks" to be like little children.

 

In the June 2000 Ensign, First Presidency message, President Thomas S. Monson said,

 

"…may the laughter of children gladden our hearts. May the faith of children soothe our souls. May the love of children prompt our deeds. “Children are an heritage of the Lord.”  May our Heavenly Father ever bless these sweet souls, these special friends of the Master."

You Are Special

Tonight we took the family to a sweet presentation at our local elementary school.  It was a musical/dance interpretation of the book "You are Special" by Max Lucado.  We are friends with the talented teacher who organized it, and her son and daughter, who wrote the music for the production, are friends of our children.  It was an extremely touching presentation. 

If you are unfamiliar with the story, here is a summary.  The Wemmicks are puppets who live out their days in their village putting stars and dots on one another.  The stars are like "praise" and the dots are "criticism."  Some puppets are covered in stars while some poor puppets have nothing but dots.  Punchinello is one of those unfortunate puppets.  He can never seem to do anything right and is covered in dots.  But one day he meets Lucia.  She is different than all the other puppets.  She has neither stars nor dots sticking to her.  In fact, if someone tries to give her a star or a dot, it just falls off.  And yet she seems so happy.  Punchinello is intrigued and asks why the stickers don't stick to her.  She tells him that it is because she goes to visit the Eli the woodcarver every day.  The woodcarver is the one who made each and every puppet.  Punchinello decides to visit Eli himself and learns some important truths. 

He learns that Eli, the woodcarver, values him no matter what others in the village may think.  Punchinello asks him, "Why do I matter to you?"  Eli says, "Because you're mine, That's why you matter to me."  He asks Eli why the stickers don't stick to Lucia.  Eli tells him that they don't stick because Lucia has realized that what the woodcarver thinks about her is more important than what anybody else thinks.  "The more you trust MY love, the less you care about their stickers."

As Punchinello leaves, Eli tells him one last, very important thing,

"Remember, you are special because I made you, and I don't make mistakes."

When Punchinello internalizes this last comment and realizes its truth, a dot falls off of him onto the ground.

What a beautiful story for my children, and for me too.  I started to cry as  the girl playing Lucia danced in such a free and beautiful way.  I could see how knowing what she knows can help all of us to live our own lives in more free and beautiful ways.  When we realize ourselves and can help our children realize that their true worth comes from being children of God, and that what he thinks is more important than what the world thinks, we have something truly special in our lives. 

Way back in 1973, in the April General Conference, in a talk entitled "In His Strength",Elder Marvin J. Ashton said,

"In the kingdom of our Heavenly Father no man is a nobody."

He also said,

"To mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, and children everywhere, we declare that regardless of your present station in life you are someone special.  Remember, you may be an obscure boy, girl, man, or woman, but you are not a "nobody."

Playing With Our Food

Today for breakfast we made a fun treat - idea posted on Facebook by my aunt.  Sophia particularly had fun with her "car."  As she ate different parts off the car she continually rebuilt it to make something new.

"Nuffing"

When you have an oversized head, big brown eyes with long lashes, and the most scrumptious squishable cheeks on the planet, you might think you can get away with anything. 

Recently Sophia came upstairs from the basement sporting two long brown streaks on either side of her mouth.  She also had a wonderful chocolate aroma wafting around her.  I asked her what she'd been doing and she innocently said, "Nuffing."  I asked her if she had been in the basement to which she answered in the affirmative.  When I asked her what she'd been doing in the basement she said, "Nuffing."  I asked her if she'd been in the cold room and she said she had.  When I asked her what she'd been doing in the cold room she said, "Nuffing."  At this point I had to remind Jacob, who looked ready to burst out laughing, that we couldn't laugh at her or she'd never realize she'd done something wrong.  I was wanting to smile and laugh myself to be honest because her chubby chocolate face was just so cute.  Finally I asked her what she'd been eating and she said, "Nuffing."  I asked her if there was a mess in the cold room to which she finally answered very honestly, "No, there's no mess.  I ate them off the floor."  I was still holding myself back from laughing at this point.  I asked her if she'd been eating chocolate chips in the cold room and she finally confessed that she had.  We talked about our family rule about not eating treats without permission and then I moved the chocolate chips to a very high place on the storage shelves.

As we got ready for bed a little later I told her while brushing her teeth, "We need to brush really well tonight.  You've got some yucky stuff in your teeth."  She didn't say it was "nuffing" this time.  This time she simply and honestly said, "That's because I was eating chocolate." 

FedEx

The other day my husband taught our family an important lesson. Jerry began by showing us a picture of the FedEx logo on the computer.  He asked what we saw.  We read the words, described the colors etc.  Then he said, "Do you see an arrow?"  At first we said no.  He asked again, "Do you see an arrow?"  We looked again.  One by one we eventually began to see the arrow.  Then he asked us if we could see the spoon.  This time we had a little easier time seeing what he was talking about. 
 
We then discussed what we could learn from this little experience.  We talked about how we could apply it to ourselves individually and also how we could apply it to our relationships with others.  Sometimes we see only certain things about ourselves, and about our lives.  Because we are so focused on those things, we miss other things that are equally as valuable.  Sometimes we are so focused on what we don't have (like curly hair, or life without food allergies, or eyes that don't need glasses) that we don't even see and appreciate all that we do have. 

This also applies to how we see other people.  Are we so focused on one aspect of someone, whether it be his looks (clothes, hair etc.) or a character flaw, that we miss seeing and appreciating the whole person and all the good things about him?  Sometimes as a Mom I get focused on one thing or other with regards to one of my children or my spouse.  Usually, the thing that I get focused on is not a positive thing.  Unfortunately, in doing that I sometimes find myself feeling frustrated with that child/husband, so much so that I don't notice all the good that he says and does and is.

Heavenly Father surely sees the failings in my life and in the lives of all of his children.  But I also know that he never loses sight of all the good and positive things.  He is an expert at seeing the whole "FedEx" logo and not just focusing on the arrow or the spoon.  After this lesson, I have not once seen a FedEx truck without thinking about the new meaning that it has taken on for me.  Yes, I definitely look for and see that arrow and spoon each time…I can't help myself…but I also remember to look at myself, my own life, and all the other people in my life with Heavenly Father's eyes…seeing them as he sees them and loving them as he loves them.

Little Things

Little things can make all the difference in the world.  Today Sophia was playing outside with her sisters, David was napping and I was having a few quiet minutes to myself.  It didn't take long before I heard the cries.  They got louder and louder and soon they were right there at the front door.  Sophia had fallen on the pavement and Olivia had carried her up to the door.  She handed her off to me and ran off to play.  I carried Sophie inside to assess the damage.  She had torn up one hand and scraped her knee.  There wasn't too much blood but I'm sure it was stinging.  I needed to clean the  dirt out of both scrapes and she was in no mood to cooperate.  I casually mentioned, "I've got a lollipop for you when we are done."  Instantly the fussing stopped.  She was cooperative while I cleaned things up and dabbed on a little Melaleuca oil.  We hugged for a few minutes, got out the promised lollipop and within minutes she was ready to go back outside. 

It is really that easy to solve a lot of problems, or at least make them a little easier to manage.  Something as small as a lollipop can make all the difference.  We don't always need to perform great huge acts of sacrifice to make a difference in the lives of our families or friends who are struggling.  Sometimes just a smile, or a note, or a phone call…a promise of cookies in the afternoon, or an evening game of "Othello," or a story can brighten up the bleakest day.  With my little ones it seems that a lollipop can fix almost anything.  With the older children one of my best "fixes" is simply listening and sincerely telling them that I understand. 

Our family has a poem that we have memorized:

Little drops of water
Little grains of sand
Make a mighty ocean
And a pleasant land.
Little words of kindness
Spoken every day
Make a home a heaven
And help us on our way.

We need to give the "little" things in our lives more attention…the little things WE do and say, as well as the little things said or done to us by OTHERS.

The Best Two Years

This past Wednesday the girls spent much of the morning dashing in and out of the house to see if the mail was here yet.  You see, we've been waiting for Benjamin's mission call.  Here where we live, mission calls almost always arrive on Wednesdays, and we had calculated that this would be the Wednesday that his would arrive. 

When the mail truck arrived we weren't disappointed.  I'll be the first to admit that I ran, not walked, out to the mailbox right along with my girls.  Benjamin was still at ballroom class at the high school, so we brought it in the house and texted him right away to let him know that it had arrived. 

We had decided that he would wait until Thursday night, later in the evening, so that family and friends could be here.  Thank goodness for cell phones and skype.  We were able to include family that lives too far away to come to the house.
 
We let everyone here make their guesses as to where he would be going.  Even David got to point on a map and make a guess.  Then the time finally arrived.  I was standing next to him and the anticipation was killing me.  I looked over at the paper he pulled out of the envelope and ahhhh…totally unintentionally, I saw two words.  I couldn't believe I had "peeked" before my son had even had a chance to read the letter out loud.  He forgave me though!!  He even admitted that he saw the name of the mission before he read it out loud.

He will be serving in the Albuquerque, New Mexico mission and will leave before the end of July.  I am so proud of him and his desire to serve.  By the way, Emily was spot on with her guess.  She picked New Mexico.

A year and a half ago our family had just got comfy in the basement ready to watch General Conference on television.  President Monson got up to welcome us all to conference, and in that very first address, astounded us with an announcement.

"I am pleased to announce that effective immediately all worthy and able young men who have graduated from high school or its equivalent, regardless of where they live, will have the option of being recommended for missionary service beginning at the age of 18 instead of age 19.  I am not suggesting that all young men will - or should - serve at this earlier age.  Rather, based on individual circumstances as well as upon a determination by priesthood leaders, this option is now available." (October 2012 General Conference)
 
At the time, Kyle was 18 and hadn't even started on getting his mission papers ready.  But by the end of the session the Holy Ghost had confirmed to him that he should begin immediately and put his availability date as immediately.  He entered the MTC less than a month before his 19th birthday, and celebrated his 19th birthday in England, as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 

The age change actually affected our family in quite a big way.  Our first five children were boys.  Because of the two year age gaps between each of the first three boys, we knew that their missions would come one right after the other, but we didn't figure there would be any overlap.  With our boys choosing to leave younger that has not shown to be the case.  By the time Kyle comes home it will have been four years since he has seen his older brother Brandon.  By the time Benjamin comes home it will have been three years since Kyle and Benjamin have seen each other.  Kyle missed the birth of David by less than a couple of months and will be almost two years old when Kyle comes home.  Summer of 2016 will be quite a reunion year for us.  We will all be together on this earth for the very first time.  That will be a momentous day…definitely a day for a family picture

But the sacrifices of not being together as a family are small when we think of the blessings that missionary service brings to our sons, our family, and to the lives of those they teach.  The gospel of Jesus Christ is true and brings peace and joy to our lives.  I am grateful for children who want to give two years of their lives to share it with others around the globe.
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President Thomas S. Monson has said:

 “Every worthy, able young man should prepare to serve a mission. Missionary service is a priesthood duty—an obligation the Lord expects of us who have been given so very much. Young men, I admonish you to prepare for service as a missionary” (“As We Meet Together Again,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2010, 5–6).