Twas the Night Before Christmas...

…actually, technically it is already Christmas.  My clock says 1:04am and I am in my "kerchief"  (actually I am wearing my favorite jammies given to me by my sweet husband last Christmas) and Jerry is in his "cap" getting ready to settle down for our long winter's nap…until David wakes to nurse which will inevitably happen sometime before the sun rises.  Jerry and I have finished up our last minute preparations and are finally ready to get some sleep.

The "children are nestled down snug in their beds" ….actually they are sleeping in the basement.      Three are laying across the hide-a-bed, another on a couch and another on the floor.  Sophia stayed down with them for a while but toddled up to her bedroom to fall asleep with her "flower" nightlight to keep her company. 

We've had a nice evening together.  Homemade pizza for dinner, dropping off surprises, visiting with neighbors, catching up with our college age son Brandon, and a rather hectic attempt at recreating the nativity "shadow play style."  We hung a sheet in the basement and shone a light behind it and our actors went behind the sheet as we narrated and sang, complete with a few brief pieces of Handel's Messiah.  Joseph (David - age 19 months) had just been dressed in his costume when he began signing that he wanted to nurse.  Then he gave his sign for "go to sleep."  Then he waved goodbye to everyone which he does every night before I take him up to bed.  So we had to find another Joseph.  Emily volunteered, so we changed her out of her angel costume and into a Joseph costume.  Meanwhile, due to the long wait, Sophia had begun doing "tricks" on the floor and her Mary costume was all in disarray.  I put her back together when she decided that she would rather be Joseph.  Before I could disagree, she had her costume completely off and she and Emily started switching costumes.  I thought we were never going to have our annual nativity tonight.  It all finally came together and was worth the effort. 

Before bed we gathered around the Christmas tree.  Each child in our family gets to open a gift on Christmas Eve.  Before we begin unwrapping we talk about why we have this tradition in our family.  Every year we retell the story.  When my mother was only five years old, her father was killed in a small plane crash right before Christmas.  My grandmother was left with five very young children, one just a tiny infant.  On Christmas Eve, she let her little girls open up one gift each, to make the night seem extra special for this little family who was grieving the loss of their Daddy and husband.  As I grew up my parents continued this tradition, and Jerry and I have continued this tradition in our own family. 
 
Then its off to bed…actually we let the kids watch a Christmas movie in the basement while Jerry and I cleaned up from dinner and finished up with our wrapping and other Christmas secrets.  Now they are all asleep and the house is quiet…except for Jerry accidentally setting off the home security alarm when he quickly opened the sliding door to bring in the shoes on the back porch that were getting wet in the rain just beginning to come down. 

I'll have to ask the kids in the morning if they heard it.  If they did, I'm sure this will be remembered forever as the year that Santa set off our security alarm.

As I sit here typing I can hear what sounds like very icy rain hitting the roof.  The weatherman is promising snow for Christmas and the kids are all hoping to wake to snow on the ground.  I sure hope they get their wish.  As it gets colder through the night, I hope this rain will turn to snow so we can have a "white" Christmas. 

Never Ending Toothpaste

The toothpaste in our bathroom is almost gone.  As I carefully tried to squeeze enough for just one more brushing, I thought of a funny story from early in Jerry's and my marriage. 

When we were newlyweds we really did not have a lot of money.  Back then, we squeezed every last bit out of the toothpaste tube because we sometimes didn't have money to buy more until payday.  The brand of toothpaste that we used had one of those tubes that just stay filled with air instead of getting flatter and flatter until the toothpaste is all gone.  You really couldn't be sure exactly how much toothpaste was left in the tube.  One night while brushing our teeth I commented on how long this particular tube of toothpaste had lasted and was feeling rather blessed, because at the time, there was no money for another tube.  Some days later…I really don't remember how many, I mentioned in disbelief that the tube was still squeezing out toothpaste.  A week or so later I again told Jerry how incredibly blessed we were that our toothpaste still hadn't run out.  He looked like he was suppressing a smile.  It wasn't too long until he confessed his practical joke.  He'd found another tube of toothpaste in our cupboard and had been secretly adding toothpaste to our tube when I wasn't around.  He'd just add a little bit so I wouldn't get suspicious.  He'd had a lot of fun laughing inside as I kept squeezing out toothpaste for just one more brushing.

Wholesome Family Activities

Jacob got up this past Sunday morning and said, "Mom, I think my favorite Sunday of the year is the Sunday of the Primary Program."  I think I agree with him.

Once a year our sweet Primary children get to participate in Sacrament meeting, teaching the rest of the congregation through their short and simple gospel messages and their beautiful singing.  This past Sunday was just that day in our ward. 

This year the children have focused on the importance of families. 

Early this summer Emily (7) was already thinking about the Primary Program.  She came home eagerly from church one Sunday and said, "Mom, I really have to go to the Primary councilor's house.  She said if we want to give a talk for the Primary Program we need to tell her.  I really want to do a talk and I forgot to tell her at church."  She made the needed visit and was told that she could do a talk.  She was given her assignment and got to work. 
 
She was asked to give some examples of "wholesome activities" that she has done with her family.  Just what is a wholesome family activity?  Well, here is how my sweet 7 year old interpreted that phrase.  I think she did a great job.  We sat down together and she started talking and I just started typing.  And this was the result.

I was asked to give a talk on wholesome activities that I do with my family. 

One of the wholesome activities that I have done with my family was when we went to Canada for Canadian Thanksgiving.  The drive is 16 hours long.  To make it fun we sing in the car.  Sometimes my brother Jacob even sings like Elsa from Frozen.  We also like to talk with each other and we play a game called Slugbug.  Me and my sister like telling each other stories and making each other laugh with funny jokes.  We all help keep David happy.  He doesn’t like being in his car seat so long.  I make him happy by singing him songs, telling him stories, making him laugh by saying funny words and sounds and feeding him snacks. 

In Canada we spent time with our grandparents.  I helped my Grandma Vance do family history.  She is the director of the family history center where they live.  Grandpa tickles me and gives me coconut icecream every night. I liked spending time drawing with my Uncle David.  We got to spend time with Uncle Drew and Aunt Amy who I haven’t seen for a very long time.  My Aunt Amy is a dance teacher.  She helped Olivia and I with our splits and other stretches.  We also saw Uncle Marc and Aunt Lisa and my cousins.  All the cousins had so much fun playing with each other.  I loved being together for Thanksgiving.

Another wholesome activity that our family did recently was to watch General Conference on television.  We had our cousins and aunts and uncles over, and Brandon and two of his friends.  In between sessions I liked playing with my cousins and Brandon’s friends.  During the sessions I like to color and take notes and play bingo.  Dad makes lots and lots and lots of cinnamon rolls and we eat and eat and eat and eat.  They are so yummy. 

Another wholesome activity that our family does is service.  We like to sing together and that is one way we serve.  We sing for lots of older people and make them happy.  We all have to work together to learn our songs. 

We also like to go on hikes.  Not too long ago we hiked to Cecret Lake.  We saw a giant mushroom and lots of little squirrels.  We also like to go on bike rides and go to family reunions.

Wholesome family activities help us to get to know our family better and love each other more.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
 

Homemade Pizza and Family Home Evening

In The March 2003 Ensign President Gordon B. Hinckley encouraged us to hold Family Home Evening.  He says,

(this was quoted from an interview with the Boston Globe)

“We have a family home evening program once a week [Monday night] across the Church in which parents sit down with their children. They study the scriptures. They talk about family problems. They plan family activities and things of that kind. I don’t hesitate to say if every family in the world practiced that one thing, you’d see a very great difference in the solidarity of the families of the world” (interview, Boston Globe, 14 Aug. 2000).

We had a nice family home evening tonight.  Each member of the family made his or her own personal pizza for dinner.  We have dairy allergies in the family, so we often have to make pizza without the cheese…yeah, I know that seems kind of weird to those who can have cheese.  But tonight was special.  I found some tapioca based mozzarella shreds at the health food store that are actually pretty good.  They make the pizza taste much more "pizzalike."  We got some regular mozzarella for Dad to use on his pizza as well.  Sophia made pizzas for herself and little David.  She made faces out of the veggies and meat.  They were pretty cute. 

Sophia, with a little assistance from Emily and Mom gave the lesson tonight.  She gave a lesson on faith and prayer.  We talked about stories from the scriptures and church history where people had problems or questions, but through their faith and prayer, were able to find answers.  Then everyone shared times when they had prayed in faith and received answers.  It was a great discussion. 
 
When you have really young children as well as older youth it is always a challenge to come up with lessons that are beneficial to everyone.  This lesson really worked.  We had pictures and stories that had to be matched up.  There were pictures of Joseph Smith, Esther, the brother of Jared, and Nephi building the ship.  There was a word strip containing a "problem/question" and another with an "answer to prayer" that went along with each picture.  We had to match everything up.  That part was the most fun for the younger ones, and the scripture discussion and sharing of personal stories was great for the older children. 
 
In that same article in the March 2003 Ensign President Hinckley was quoted as saying,

“[The Lord] expects us to have family home evening—one night a week to gather our children together and teach them the gospel. Isaiah said, ‘And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord.’ That is the commandment: ‘All thy children shall be taught of the Lord.’ And the blessing: ‘And great,’ he said, ‘shall be the peace of thy children’ [Isa. 54:13]” (meeting, Nouméa, New Caledonia, 17 June 2000).

I want to have peaceful children.  I want to have peace in my family.  I find great joy in teaching my children the gospel, in gathering together in the family room on a crisp fall evening, and talking about the scriptures and sharing our experiences with gospel principles.  I believe that as we follow the counsel to hold regular Family Home Evening, our family will be strengthened, testimonies will develop and love in our family will increase.

Our Daily Bread

Jerry and I were married May 30, 1991.  That first summer together was full of memories.  We had very little money so our fun had to be quite inexpensive, but just being together was enough for us.  I remember a picnic, with tuna sandwiches and popsicles on the lawn of our apartment complex.  I remember borrowing camping gear and attempting a little camping trip up in the canyons.  Before dark even came it began to rain…..and rain and rain and rain.  When the dirt road next to our campsite began to look like a creek, we figured we had best get out of the canyon before it got dangerous.  So much for camping. 

Later in the summer we scrimped together enough money to spend one day at BYU Education Week.  Little did we know that some of what we learned there would be a daily part of our future family life. 

First I need to rewind and reminisce a little.

When I was a little girl we visited my grandparents in Alberta, Canada every summer.  Grandpa was a salesman for Magic Mill wheat grinders and Bosch Kitchen mixers.  In the back entryway, behind the kitchen, was their wheat grinder.  They also had a small table set up with giant coloring books (courtesy of Magic Mill) that I spent hours coloring in.  My Mom had a Magic Mill as well.  She also had a Bosch mixer.  I grew up with homemade whole wheat bread and wonderful cookies and muffins, made with her mixer.  I learned to make cookies and banana muffins and zucchini bread while still living at home, but hadn't ever taken the time to master whole wheat bread.

All of a sudden, when I got married, I wished that I knew how.  My Mom and Dad blessed us greatly by giving us a Bosch mixer as a wedding gift, but I had yet to use it to make bread.  That is where Education Week comes in.

One of the classes we attended was on baking whole wheat bread.  The teacher was excellent and she even went so far as to pass dough around the class so that we could feel what a great dough should feel like.  I came home armed with a great recipe and a determination to master making bread. 

I've made our family's bread ever since.  The recipe has been tweaked slightly over the years but is still basically the same one that I brought home from Education Week that day.  I've handed it out to numerous friends and family and everyone loves the results. 

We store and use hundreds of pounds of wheat each year and save a lot of money by grinding our own wheat and making our own bread.  Sure, we buy bread on occasion, especially when we are extra busy, or when I've been pregnant or had a new baby, or in the heat of summer when we can't bear to turn on the oven, but we are obviously spoiled, because we never like the store bread as much as our homemade.

When we've been having difficult financial times, knowing how to make our own bread has been a blessing.  It's hard to feel deprived when you are eating warm homemade bread with butter and honey or jam. 

Here is the recipe as we make it today: (this makes six 1lb loaves)

3T yeast (Saf brand)
1 1/2 T sea salt
1/8 to 1/4 tsp vitamin C powder (ascorbic acid)
1/2 c raw honey
1/3c expeller pressed coconut oil (you want a good quality oil, but not one that has a lot of coconut flavor)
6c hot water
8c whole wheat flour (freshly ground hard WHITE wheat)
1/2 c gluten flour

Mix the above and then let it form a sponge for about 10 minutes (let it sit in the bowl) .  Add in MORE flour until dough is just right (this varies with each batch) and knead with the Bosch for about 5 minutes.  Rise in pans in a preheated warm oven for half an hour.  Then bake at 350 for 30 minutes.  (If using dark bread pans, bake at 325 degrees.)

Note: I don't even take the loaves out to preheat the oven before baking.  After the rising time I just turn on my oven and start the timer.

Fringe Benefits of Scouting

Having boys in boy scouts, cub scouts and Webelos can be a lot of work for Mom and Dad.  We sew things on their shirts, we help them fulfil requirements, we help them make goals, and get them to meetings…among other things. 

But I've seen a few fringe benefits this summer.  Nathan has been working on his Family Life Merit badge.  One of the requirements was to do a project that would benefit his family.  He chose a pretty ambitious goal.  He decided that he would clean all the carpets in the house.  He'd never used a carpet cleaner before, but Jerry worked with him and got him pretty proficient.  Lucky me!!  My carpets have now all been cleaned.

He also needed to organize a family project that we would all work on together.  He chose another home improvement project.  The boys' bedroom has never been painted since we moved here.  After five boys growing up in it, it was sorely in need of some attention.  He organized us all to help move the bookshelf, move furniture out from the walls, remove pictures and bulletin boards from the walls, and then helped to fill all the holes with mud and sand them down so that the room would be ready for painting.  Yeah!!  The room is now painted and we are just finishing up with painting the closet doors and the bedroom door.  It looks great.

Thank you Nathan, and thank you Scouting program!!

Articles of Faith Songs

Tonight was a rare night when I was able to take a nice soaky bath and crawl into bed a little earlier than usual with my book.  As I was laying there I could hear Emily in the bedroom next to me, singing away to music on the Ipod.  I strained to hear what she was singing and realized that she was singing the Articles of Faith. 

Primary boys and girls are encouraged to memorize the Articles of Faith to earn their Faith in God award once they turn 8 years old.  I love teaching my children the songs for these that are in the Childrens Songbook.  Once they are learned through song, they are hard to forget.  Even now, I can recite the Articles of Faith only by hearing the music in my head as I recite. 

Emily is well on her way to having the Articles of Faith memorized…and is not even 8 yet.  I love turning on the Primary songs for the little ones to listen to as they drift off to sleep at night.  Some of them are beautiful and peaceful, some are fun and spirited, but they all have great messages to fill the minds of my children before bed. 

Of Royal Birth

This past weekend Jerry and I got ambitious and pulled our big wooden bed out from the wall to clean and vacuum behind it.  We pulled off the mattress to clean and you wouldn't believe what I found.  Between the mattress and the boxspring, on my side of the bed was a very old and very shriveled up GREEN PEA!

There is a fairy tale about the princess and the pea.  She arrived at a castle one rainy night looking for a place of refuge from the storm.  She told the family in the castle that she was a princess, but, due to her disheveled appearance that was hard to believe.  They invited her in and fixed up a bed for her.  They piled up mattresses and blankets so that it was nice and soft.  Underneath the very bottom mattress they placed a pea.  They figured that if she were a true princess she would feel the pea as she slept and then they would know that she had been telling the truth.  As the story goes, she had a terrible night, due to discomfort from the pea.  The prince of the castle knew that she truly was a princess, they fell in love, and lived happily ever after. 

Upon finding the pea in my bed I commenced asking my children if any of them remembered putting it there.  Alas, no one could remember…or wanted to confess.  So I will never know which of my children wanted to find out if I really was a princess. 

This morning…..when I woke up to a wet bed from a little girl who crawled in at 5am and had an accident, I certainly did not feel like a princess.  This afternoon as I cleaned up from a flooded toilet, compliments of that same sweet little girl who had a little too much fun with toilet paper, I certainly did not feel like a princess. 

But I hold on to the truth that I have been taught since I was a little girl…that I really am a princess.  I come of a royal lineage, and I have great potential.  Though I may not always feel like a princess I need to remember to be "Loyal to the Royal" within.  (Harold B. Lee) My Heavenly Father is the King.  He wants me to choose the right and continually strive to be like him…to always behave as should the  daughter of a King.

I came across a poem by Anna Johnson that was printed in the Children's Friend back in 1959.  The whole poem is beautiful but I will just include the first stanza:

"I AM a Child of Royal Birth,
My Father is KING of Heaven and Earth.
My spirit was born in Courts on High.
A Child Beloved, a Princess (Prince) AM I!"

Birthday Traditions

Friday night we celebrated Benjamin's 18th birthday.  We don't have elaborate birthday traditions in our family but we always celebrate and look forward to birthdays.  The birthday child always has the option of breakfast in bed and often gets to choose the menu.  On his special day his siblings do all of his animal and house chores for him.  Depending on the child he sometimes has a birthday party with friends, or a birthday party with cousins, or just a fun activity with immediate family.  We bake a birthday cake, and sometimes the birthday child actually wants to make and decorate his cake all on his own. Occasionally one of the kids will request a birthday pie or apple crisp instead.  I think we even had a birthday watermelon once for our Dad's birthday. Often we have a special dinner that is a favorite of the birthday child.

Not long after Jerry and I were married we were browsing in a Pier One Imports store and found a colorful plate and cup that both of us loved.  We decided to buy it and call it our "special plate" and use it for special occasions in our family.  The special plate is used at dinnertime for the birthday child, and even grandparents and special visitors to our home have occasionally been honored to use the "special plate" at dinnertime.  Benjamin used the special plate last night for his special birthday dinner.  This will be his last birthday dinner at home for two years.  We will miss him but are so grateful for his desire to serve a mission. 

One of our most treasured birthday traditions is opening cards from the grandparents with the whole family.  Grandma and Grandpa Winters always send homemade cards along with balloons which is a hit with the younger children.  Grandpa and Grandma Vance have a real knack for finding super fun cards that often sing to you.  And Grandpa Vance is the star of every card opening session.  Why?  Because he writes "Roses are red" poems in every birthday card to children and their spouses and grandchildren too.  Years and years of birthdays and he keeps coming up with new and creative poems to make us laugh.  We try to keep all the cards in the childrens' keepsake boxes so that they will always remember their Grandpa and his poems.  The birthday child looks forward to special phone calls from grandparents on both sides as well.

In the March 1986 Ensign (no author mentioned) it says,

"Family traditions are like spiritual and emotional cement in the foundation of a happy home. They create fond memories, and these memories bond us together as nothing else can."

I have fond memories of birthday traditions in my own home when I was a child.  My mother used to bake fun cakes in neat shapes.  One year I had a cake shaped like a princess.  I remember one of my brothers having a rocking horse cake.  And for those who wanted she would always make the most delicious angel food cake with lemon glaze.  When we were younger we enjoyed birthday parties with our friends with traditional games like pin the tail on the donkey and musical chairs.  As we got older we were sometimes treated to a dinner out at a restaurant.  I always felt so special and important on my birthday.  And still do.  My parents make me feel loved every day, but I can always count on them remembering my birthday and taking special care to let me know that they are so glad that I was and will always be their daughter. 

Toilets and my Toddler

Elder Russell M. Nelson addressed BYU students in a devotional (March 29, 1987) and said,

"I watched some three-year-old children playing one day. I saw them lapping water from the sidewalk after it had spilled through a neighbor’s garden. I suppose the germs they ingested were incalculable in number, but not one of those children became ill. They were defended by their bodies. As soon as that dirty drink reached their stomachs, hydrochloric acid went to work to purify the water and protect the lives of those innocent children."

The entire address was about the magnificence of the bodies that our Heavenly Father has created for us.  He talked about our senses of sight and hearing, our hearts and our brains and our body's amazing ability to repair itself.  He also gave the above little story to demonstrate how well our body can deal with germs.

Recently, David became safe on the stairs.  We don't have them blocked off anymore as I feel comfortable letting him climb from our main level up to the bedrooms whenever he wants to.  He is surely enjoying this new freedom and the ability to explore a little.  During the day our family spends most of our time on our main level.  Since there is not often someone upstairs to keep an eye on David in his explorations I've been trying to get everyone to keep the bedroom and bathroom doors shut when they are not up there….especially the bathroom doors. 

We are not very good at it yet.

This morning we found David upstairs in the bathroom brushing his teeth…with his sister's toothbrush.  Ok - that's no big deal.  But he was having a grand old time wetting and rewetting the toothbrush in the toilet in between brushings.  So disgusting!!  His onesie was sopping and he was so so mad when we found him and took his toothbrush away. 

How grateful I am for the magnificence of the human body.  My children have all been exposed to all kinds of germy things as they've grown up, and they all seem to survive.  Yes, we need to keep our homes clean and sanitary, yes we need to practice good hygiene…  but germs happen.  Little children explore and do messy things.  Thank goodness for our body's built in self defense system.

A Hill and a Hole

A long time ago I read in a book that every child needs a "hill and a hole."  What they meant by that is that children, by nature, all love wild places…places where they can dig and climb and get messy without being told how to play or where to play…or where not to play. 

When we moved to our home here over fifteen years ago our yard needed some leveling.  We have an acre of property and so, since we had the space, we had the backhoe guy build  a nice big hill in the very back of our land with the extra dirt from the leveling.  Over the years that hill has provided so much fun for our children.  In the early spring wild grass covers it making it an ideal hiding place.  In the winter, covered with snow, it becomes a great mini sledding hill.  They build jumps at the bottom to get an even wilder ride.  One year, after reading the Great Brain by J.D. Fitzgerald, Brandon and Kyle decided to dig a cave into the hill.  Wearing their protective safety goggles, they looked very official. It's also used as a "lookout tower" by children using binoculars.  

In the back of our property we have one corner where we have dumped rocks through the years that we have removed in the course of landscaping our yard.  Our children have turned that area of the yard into their own secret fort area.  They've dug a big hole and covered it with spare boards to make a hideout.  Rocks are used to create rooms and lookouts.  The game changes every time they play.  Sometimes they forget about the fort for a while and when they rediscover it the game starts anew and is fun all over again. 

Our big old dirt hill may not be the most aesthetically pleasing aspect of our yard, but it has provided hours and hours of fun for our children and their friends.  "A hill and a hole" has been a blessing to our family.

Seminary Graduation

In the Book of Mormon there is a scripture that has been a favorite and is often quoted from memory in our family.  It is found in Alma 37:35

"Oh remember my son, and learn wisdom in thy youth, yea learn in thy youth to keep the commandments of God."

Seminary is a program of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints that began over 100 years ago.  It is specifically designed for youth ages 14 to 18.  Students meet daily or every other day with enthusiastic, knowledgeable teachers to study the scriptures.  Each year a different portion of the scriptures is covered; Book of Mormon, Old Testament, New Testament and the Doctrine and Covenants. 

As our youth have participated in seminary I have felt that it is an inspired program.  Our youth need to have opportunities during the week to study the gospel and feel of the Lord's spirit.  And it is inspiring for them to be learning with other youth who want the same in their lives.

In October of 1977, Boyd K Packer was addressing a group of Church Educational System educators.  This was over thirty years ago and his words continue to be true today.

“In the history of the Church there is no better illustration of the prophetic preparation of this people than the beginnings of the seminary and institute program. These programs were started when they were nice but were not critically needed. They were granted a season to flourish and to grow into a bulwark for the Church. They now become a godsend for the salvation of modern Israel in a most challenging hour.”

This past week, our son, Benjamin graduated from  seminary.  I am so proud of him, and grateful for the wonderful teachers he has had over the last four years.  I know that the things he has learned will help him to be a better missionary.  They will bless him as he studies at university.  They will bless him as he marries and starts a family.  Their effects will trickle down and bless his posterity to come.
 

Mommy's Little Helper

Recently I've been struggling with getting my dishes done.  I have a dishwasher.  I even have lots of children to help with our mountains of dirty dishes.  But we also have a sweet little one year old that wants to help as well.  Our dishwasher beeps every time it is opened and closed.  When David hears the beep he crawls as fast as he possibly can, from wherever he is, toward the dishwasher.  He is fascinated by the dishwasher.  Once I've removed the clean sharp knives from the utensil rack I have no problem with him standing at the dishwasher "helping."  He loves to play in the little bits of warm clean water clinging to the open door of the dishwasher.  He loves to pull out plastic bowls and plates as fast as he can and fling them to the floor.  It is a race between him and me.  I pull the glassware out of the bottom rack as fast as I possibly can so that he cannot get his little hands on it.  He laughs mischievously as he grabs a glass cup before I can get to it.  When I turn my back to put something in the cupboard, he is climbing into the dishwasher.  It is adorable!!!

But when it is time to load the dishwasher he wants to be there as well.  I'm sure that the dirty forks and spoons from breakfast are loaded with "flavor" and those are what he goes after first thing.  I find I am constantly looking for times of the day when he is busy with a brother or sister, or napping, so that I can finally load the dishwasher.  I find myself saying to the other children, "Don't worry about loading your dishes right now.  David is right there."  Now that is something I never ever thought I would say to a child.  Instead I find myself saying, "Please, just hold him back for two seconds so that I can get these dirty dishes in." 

Now, just to set the record straight…I am definitely not complaining, because I know that before another year is through, David will actually be capable of helping with the chore.  I keep a bottom drawer in my kitchen strictly for children's plastic cups, bowls and plates.  The first chore that my children learn to do is to put the clean plastic dishes from the dishwasher into this drawer.  I welcome this stage with open arms.  Little ones are absolutely delighted to be able to help in such a big kid way.  I want to encourage it in every way possible.

Sophia is now 3 and can put away the plastics now.  She also knows where to put the measuring cups and spoons, cutting boards, and large cooking utensils like wooden spoons and spatulas.  If you were to look in my kitchen drawers you would either think that I am a terribly disorganized woman, or you would assume that my little children help in the kitchen.  If you chose the second option you would be right.  Occasionally my drawers get organized properly by myself or an older child, but usually they look like a 3 year old has helped.  And I am proud of that fact!  I want to instill in Sophie at this young age that her help is needed and appreciated in our family. 
 
This quote from President David O McKay sums up what we should strive to teach our children regarding work.

"Let us realize that the privilege to work is a gift, that power to work is a blessing, and that love of work is success." (Pathways to Happiness [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1957], p. 381)

Lessons Our Children Teach Us

 

On our recent trip to Disneyland we found a hotel where we could get two adjoining rooms that accommodated our family quite well.  On our last morning Jerry and I packed up the food and belongings for ourselves and the little ones in our room, while the children picked up and packed in the adjoining room.  Shortly before we were to leave, I walked into the other room to look for items under the beds, in the bathroom, and in the drawers, that might have been missed.  I noticed a nicely folded blanket on one of the beds, as well as a mountain of wet, but nicely folded towels.  On top of each pile was a note.  I smiled as I read them, then took a couple of quick pictures to save a sweet memory.  My daughters are wonderful examples to me of gratitude and service toward others.

Potty Training - the Disney Way

I've never been excited about potty training. When Brandon (turning 22 years old this coming week) turned two and people started asking me if I was potty training him, I figured it must be time to start.  I picked up the book, "Potty training in less than a day" from the library, armed myself with snacks and drinks and a fun sticker chart, got a babysitter for Kyle for the morning and decided to give it a go.  By noon, both he and I were done.  I felt like crying, he was not enjoying being confined to the kitchen despite all my fun snacks and enthusiasm, and I was frustrated that my careful reading of the book had not yielded the desired results.  That experience put a bad taste in my mouth for potty training that I've never really been able to get rid of.

However, I have figured out what works best for me when it comes to potty training.  It’s the same answer that I have found works for almost every parenting, mothering and other family related question.  And that is, listen to advice from others, but above all else, listen to the spirit.  I love to read books and blogs and web sites and to pick the brains of other Moms who've experienced things I am going through.  But when it comes down to deciding exactly what is best for my family, I listen to the spirit.  There is a scripture that tells us to "study out in our mind" and then ask God what we should do.  I testify that in mothering…this really works.

I  potty train in a very relaxed, child led way.  I have never, since that first miserable experience, tried to do it in a day.  Instead, it is a gradual experience over a number of months, culminating in a week or so of more focused practice.    I watch for clues in my child that she is ready.  Can she pull her pants up and down?  Is she able to sit still and relax long enough to "let the pee come?"  Is she interested?  Does she hate having a dirty diaper?  Does she walk off to "do her business?"  These readiness signs are not rocket science.  They are found in almost every potty training book.  Mostly, I wait for my child to be willing and ready.  I want my child to want to be potty trained.  I have no desire to force it when she is not ready. 

I have a portable potty chair.  I also have a small seat that sits on a regular toilet seat.  I prefer to teach my little ones to use a regular toilet as it makes it much easier when we are out and about.  But at the same time, I let the child choose which potty to use each time.  I get the potty chairs out and let the child get used to seeing them, asking occasionally if she wants to sit down on one.  Usually, the first time a child is successful, it catches her by surprise.  We make a huge deal of it and call Grandma and anyone else who we think might be interested.  It is often a long time before the child goes again.  But that is ok.  She remembers her success, continues to watch and learn as older siblings and parents use the potty, and someday she will be ready to try again.

Sophia recently turned 3 and has had quite a few experiences being successful on the potty, but has not been excited to begin using it all the time and even the promise of big girl underwear has not been incentive for her.  And as a busy Mom of 9, who doesn't get all that excited about potty training another child herself, I'm afraid I haven't made it much of a priority either. 

Potty training takes some focus on my part.  I need to not be too busy with projects or running around too many places.  It takes a few days of just staying at home.  Heavenly Father usually prompts me as to when it would be a good time for me to "potty train."  It is as important that the time is right for me, as it is for the time to be right for my child.  Until last week it just never seemed like the right time.  The right time kind of caught me by surprise.  It happened on our recent trip………

You know you are a busy Mom when it is easier to potty train your little one on vacation than when you are at home.  We returned just last weekend from a magical trip to Disneyland.  I was surprised to find, that Sophia, resistant to using the potty at home, thought that the public bathrooms at Disneyland were great fun.  Every couple of hours found us searching out a restroom for someone or other, and she decided that going in with Mom was preferable to sitting in the stroller with whoever was staying out with the baby. And that consistency was just what she needed to make using the potty a habit.   She used the big potty regularly throughout our trip.  When we got home she continued using the potty and staying dry most of the time.  Today we made the long awaited trip to the store to let her pick out her own big girl underwear.  Of course, she wanted "Minnie Mouse."  Another few days and I think we will have conquered potty training with yet another child.  "Yippee!!" 

Sophia told me today that she will give all of her diapers to David.  So generous of her, don't you think?

Big Boys and Babies

My mother has often told me that when I was born (their first child) they no longer needed a television.  I was all the entertainment they needed.  I am a baby watcher as well.  Actually, I get great enjoyment out of watching all my children, no matter the age. 

 

Top of my list to watch, are the interactions between my big boys and my youngest children.  In my opinion, babies and big boys are an awesome combination.  They bring out the absolute best in each other. 

 

Watching my 12 year old Nathan reading to 3 year old Sophia, or playing with her on the floor with the wooden train is so sweet to see.  Watching 14 year old Jacob play a very rousing and "macho" game of peekaboo on the couch with 11 month old David gets us all smiling.  David never enjoys peekaboo with me the way he enjoys it with Jacob.  Sophia and Jacob have a special relationship that began when she was tiny.  Sophia calls all of her big brothers, "her boys."  She loves them so much.  It's always fun to watch the older boys playing out on the trampoline with their younger sisters, or chasing them around on their hands and knees.  Today I watched David's face light up like nothing else when Benjamin, 17, lifted him high into the air balanced on one hand.  It gave my heart a bit of a workout, but David thought it was better than Disneyland.
 

 

Having babies in the house gives my big boys many opportunities each day to offer service and a helping hand.  The little ones come to them often to ask for a drink, or "Can you cut my apple," or "Can you get this zipper unstuck?"  The little ones ask countless questions each day and my big boys humor them and give them answers.  They smile and exclaim in awe and amazement when Sophie comes down dressed up and says, "I'm a ballerina today!" 
  

No matter how tired, or frustrated, or weary from a long day, the boys always have a smile and a cheerful hello for the little ones.  I love to hear the loving baby talk tone they use when they talk to them.  Little ones bring out the softer side of my boys.  And the fun loving nature of my boys is so appreciated by the babies.  Brothers are much more exciting and fun than their mother. 

 

I've often felt that my last two children came at just the right time for Jacob and Nathan.  At this time in their young lives, Sophia and David are "just what the doctor prescribed."  Jacob told me the other day that he enjoys how Sophie and David just love and adore him; they are never critical and judgmental.  They just love him unconditionally.  It's true.  Little children are like that aren't they?  They demonstrate that true love of Christ without any effort.
 

I'm grateful that my big boys have opportunities every day to appreciate the innocence and love of little children, and to understand why the scriptures admonish us "older folks" to be like little children.

 

In the June 2000 Ensign, First Presidency message, President Thomas S. Monson said,

 

"…may the laughter of children gladden our hearts. May the faith of children soothe our souls. May the love of children prompt our deeds. “Children are an heritage of the Lord.”  May our Heavenly Father ever bless these sweet souls, these special friends of the Master."

You Are Special

Tonight we took the family to a sweet presentation at our local elementary school.  It was a musical/dance interpretation of the book "You are Special" by Max Lucado.  We are friends with the talented teacher who organized it, and her son and daughter, who wrote the music for the production, are friends of our children.  It was an extremely touching presentation. 

If you are unfamiliar with the story, here is a summary.  The Wemmicks are puppets who live out their days in their village putting stars and dots on one another.  The stars are like "praise" and the dots are "criticism."  Some puppets are covered in stars while some poor puppets have nothing but dots.  Punchinello is one of those unfortunate puppets.  He can never seem to do anything right and is covered in dots.  But one day he meets Lucia.  She is different than all the other puppets.  She has neither stars nor dots sticking to her.  In fact, if someone tries to give her a star or a dot, it just falls off.  And yet she seems so happy.  Punchinello is intrigued and asks why the stickers don't stick to her.  She tells him that it is because she goes to visit the Eli the woodcarver every day.  The woodcarver is the one who made each and every puppet.  Punchinello decides to visit Eli himself and learns some important truths. 

He learns that Eli, the woodcarver, values him no matter what others in the village may think.  Punchinello asks him, "Why do I matter to you?"  Eli says, "Because you're mine, That's why you matter to me."  He asks Eli why the stickers don't stick to Lucia.  Eli tells him that they don't stick because Lucia has realized that what the woodcarver thinks about her is more important than what anybody else thinks.  "The more you trust MY love, the less you care about their stickers."

As Punchinello leaves, Eli tells him one last, very important thing,

"Remember, you are special because I made you, and I don't make mistakes."

When Punchinello internalizes this last comment and realizes its truth, a dot falls off of him onto the ground.

What a beautiful story for my children, and for me too.  I started to cry as  the girl playing Lucia danced in such a free and beautiful way.  I could see how knowing what she knows can help all of us to live our own lives in more free and beautiful ways.  When we realize ourselves and can help our children realize that their true worth comes from being children of God, and that what he thinks is more important than what the world thinks, we have something truly special in our lives. 

Way back in 1973, in the April General Conference, in a talk entitled "In His Strength",Elder Marvin J. Ashton said,

"In the kingdom of our Heavenly Father no man is a nobody."

He also said,

"To mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, and children everywhere, we declare that regardless of your present station in life you are someone special.  Remember, you may be an obscure boy, girl, man, or woman, but you are not a "nobody."

Playing With Our Food

Today for breakfast we made a fun treat - idea posted on Facebook by my aunt.  Sophia particularly had fun with her "car."  As she ate different parts off the car she continually rebuilt it to make something new.

"Nuffing"

When you have an oversized head, big brown eyes with long lashes, and the most scrumptious squishable cheeks on the planet, you might think you can get away with anything. 

Recently Sophia came upstairs from the basement sporting two long brown streaks on either side of her mouth.  She also had a wonderful chocolate aroma wafting around her.  I asked her what she'd been doing and she innocently said, "Nuffing."  I asked her if she had been in the basement to which she answered in the affirmative.  When I asked her what she'd been doing in the basement she said, "Nuffing."  I asked her if she'd been in the cold room and she said she had.  When I asked her what she'd been doing in the cold room she said, "Nuffing."  At this point I had to remind Jacob, who looked ready to burst out laughing, that we couldn't laugh at her or she'd never realize she'd done something wrong.  I was wanting to smile and laugh myself to be honest because her chubby chocolate face was just so cute.  Finally I asked her what she'd been eating and she said, "Nuffing."  I asked her if there was a mess in the cold room to which she finally answered very honestly, "No, there's no mess.  I ate them off the floor."  I was still holding myself back from laughing at this point.  I asked her if she'd been eating chocolate chips in the cold room and she finally confessed that she had.  We talked about our family rule about not eating treats without permission and then I moved the chocolate chips to a very high place on the storage shelves.

As we got ready for bed a little later I told her while brushing her teeth, "We need to brush really well tonight.  You've got some yucky stuff in your teeth."  She didn't say it was "nuffing" this time.  This time she simply and honestly said, "That's because I was eating chocolate." 

FedEx

The other day my husband taught our family an important lesson. Jerry began by showing us a picture of the FedEx logo on the computer.  He asked what we saw.  We read the words, described the colors etc.  Then he said, "Do you see an arrow?"  At first we said no.  He asked again, "Do you see an arrow?"  We looked again.  One by one we eventually began to see the arrow.  Then he asked us if we could see the spoon.  This time we had a little easier time seeing what he was talking about. 
 
We then discussed what we could learn from this little experience.  We talked about how we could apply it to ourselves individually and also how we could apply it to our relationships with others.  Sometimes we see only certain things about ourselves, and about our lives.  Because we are so focused on those things, we miss other things that are equally as valuable.  Sometimes we are so focused on what we don't have (like curly hair, or life without food allergies, or eyes that don't need glasses) that we don't even see and appreciate all that we do have. 

This also applies to how we see other people.  Are we so focused on one aspect of someone, whether it be his looks (clothes, hair etc.) or a character flaw, that we miss seeing and appreciating the whole person and all the good things about him?  Sometimes as a Mom I get focused on one thing or other with regards to one of my children or my spouse.  Usually, the thing that I get focused on is not a positive thing.  Unfortunately, in doing that I sometimes find myself feeling frustrated with that child/husband, so much so that I don't notice all the good that he says and does and is.

Heavenly Father surely sees the failings in my life and in the lives of all of his children.  But I also know that he never loses sight of all the good and positive things.  He is an expert at seeing the whole "FedEx" logo and not just focusing on the arrow or the spoon.  After this lesson, I have not once seen a FedEx truck without thinking about the new meaning that it has taken on for me.  Yes, I definitely look for and see that arrow and spoon each time…I can't help myself…but I also remember to look at myself, my own life, and all the other people in my life with Heavenly Father's eyes…seeing them as he sees them and loving them as he loves them.

Little Things

Little things can make all the difference in the world.  Today Sophia was playing outside with her sisters, David was napping and I was having a few quiet minutes to myself.  It didn't take long before I heard the cries.  They got louder and louder and soon they were right there at the front door.  Sophia had fallen on the pavement and Olivia had carried her up to the door.  She handed her off to me and ran off to play.  I carried Sophie inside to assess the damage.  She had torn up one hand and scraped her knee.  There wasn't too much blood but I'm sure it was stinging.  I needed to clean the  dirt out of both scrapes and she was in no mood to cooperate.  I casually mentioned, "I've got a lollipop for you when we are done."  Instantly the fussing stopped.  She was cooperative while I cleaned things up and dabbed on a little Melaleuca oil.  We hugged for a few minutes, got out the promised lollipop and within minutes she was ready to go back outside. 

It is really that easy to solve a lot of problems, or at least make them a little easier to manage.  Something as small as a lollipop can make all the difference.  We don't always need to perform great huge acts of sacrifice to make a difference in the lives of our families or friends who are struggling.  Sometimes just a smile, or a note, or a phone call…a promise of cookies in the afternoon, or an evening game of "Othello," or a story can brighten up the bleakest day.  With my little ones it seems that a lollipop can fix almost anything.  With the older children one of my best "fixes" is simply listening and sincerely telling them that I understand. 

Our family has a poem that we have memorized:

Little drops of water
Little grains of sand
Make a mighty ocean
And a pleasant land.
Little words of kindness
Spoken every day
Make a home a heaven
And help us on our way.

We need to give the "little" things in our lives more attention…the little things WE do and say, as well as the little things said or done to us by OTHERS.

The Best Two Years

This past Wednesday the girls spent much of the morning dashing in and out of the house to see if the mail was here yet.  You see, we've been waiting for Benjamin's mission call.  Here where we live, mission calls almost always arrive on Wednesdays, and we had calculated that this would be the Wednesday that his would arrive. 

When the mail truck arrived we weren't disappointed.  I'll be the first to admit that I ran, not walked, out to the mailbox right along with my girls.  Benjamin was still at ballroom class at the high school, so we brought it in the house and texted him right away to let him know that it had arrived. 

We had decided that he would wait until Thursday night, later in the evening, so that family and friends could be here.  Thank goodness for cell phones and skype.  We were able to include family that lives too far away to come to the house.
 
We let everyone here make their guesses as to where he would be going.  Even David got to point on a map and make a guess.  Then the time finally arrived.  I was standing next to him and the anticipation was killing me.  I looked over at the paper he pulled out of the envelope and ahhhh…totally unintentionally, I saw two words.  I couldn't believe I had "peeked" before my son had even had a chance to read the letter out loud.  He forgave me though!!  He even admitted that he saw the name of the mission before he read it out loud.

He will be serving in the Albuquerque, New Mexico mission and will leave before the end of July.  I am so proud of him and his desire to serve.  By the way, Emily was spot on with her guess.  She picked New Mexico.

A year and a half ago our family had just got comfy in the basement ready to watch General Conference on television.  President Monson got up to welcome us all to conference, and in that very first address, astounded us with an announcement.

"I am pleased to announce that effective immediately all worthy and able young men who have graduated from high school or its equivalent, regardless of where they live, will have the option of being recommended for missionary service beginning at the age of 18 instead of age 19.  I am not suggesting that all young men will - or should - serve at this earlier age.  Rather, based on individual circumstances as well as upon a determination by priesthood leaders, this option is now available." (October 2012 General Conference)
 
At the time, Kyle was 18 and hadn't even started on getting his mission papers ready.  But by the end of the session the Holy Ghost had confirmed to him that he should begin immediately and put his availability date as immediately.  He entered the MTC less than a month before his 19th birthday, and celebrated his 19th birthday in England, as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 

The age change actually affected our family in quite a big way.  Our first five children were boys.  Because of the two year age gaps between each of the first three boys, we knew that their missions would come one right after the other, but we didn't figure there would be any overlap.  With our boys choosing to leave younger that has not shown to be the case.  By the time Kyle comes home it will have been four years since he has seen his older brother Brandon.  By the time Benjamin comes home it will have been three years since Kyle and Benjamin have seen each other.  Kyle missed the birth of David by less than a couple of months and will be almost two years old when Kyle comes home.  Summer of 2016 will be quite a reunion year for us.  We will all be together on this earth for the very first time.  That will be a momentous day…definitely a day for a family picture

But the sacrifices of not being together as a family are small when we think of the blessings that missionary service brings to our sons, our family, and to the lives of those they teach.  The gospel of Jesus Christ is true and brings peace and joy to our lives.  I am grateful for children who want to give two years of their lives to share it with others around the globe.
­
President Thomas S. Monson has said:

 “Every worthy, able young man should prepare to serve a mission. Missionary service is a priesthood duty—an obligation the Lord expects of us who have been given so very much. Young men, I admonish you to prepare for service as a missionary” (“As We Meet Together Again,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2010, 5–6).

The Book-Eating House

Every Thursday a friend of ours comes over to read with Emily.  She is a reading tutor for a local school and "practices" with Emily.  Emily loves her "reading lessons" and her teacher as well.  Each week her teacher leaves her with a couple of books to practice on during the week.  This past week we lost her practice book.  She's still done plenty of reading but not from her special reading lesson book. 

Today was Thursday.  We looked and looked through every book shelf for her book.  We looked under beds and couches and inside closets.  We even started looking in strange places.  Be careful when you do that in our house.  You might find scary things.  Recently I opened what I thought was an empty box in our cold storage room only to find a purple sippy cup full of stinky, who knows how old, almond milk.  Sometimes the kids like to play in there and Sophia must have left it behind when the game was over.
 
Back to the book…  Looking for one little paperback book in our house is a little like looking for a needle in a haystack.  We have a lot of books!  We have a lot of bookshelves!  It took a long time to look through them all.  But to no avail.  No special reading lesson book was found.  I finally threw my hands up in the air and said, "I think we have a book-eating house.  There is no other explanation.  I can't think of where it can be."

When the reading teacher arrived I was prepared so offer my sincere apologies over the lost book.  I was completely ready to pay for it.  I started to tell her of our efforts to find the book, when she stopped me and told me that SHE had the book.  She had mistakenly taken it with her after last week's lesson.  It HADN'T been eaten by our house.  It HADN'T been lost in our massive collection of books.  And it was certainly not hiding in the cold room in an empty box like the purple sippy cup full of stinky, who knows how old, almond milk! 

We had a good laugh, Emily had a great reading lesson, and now she has two new books to practice with this week.  Hopefully we can keep from "losing" these ones.

The Hiding Place

About once a year I reread one of my favorite books.  It is called The Hiding Place and is the personal account of Corrie Ten Boom.  She and her family became prisoners during WW2 as a result of their efforts to hide and help Jews.  She lived in horrible circumstances in the prison camps and lost both her sister and her father.  I don't enjoy reading about the atrocities of the Holocaust, but Corrie Ten Boom's spirit, faith and amazing attitude amidst her great trials are an inspiration to me.  That is what keeps me reading this book again and again.

The camps were dirty, and cold, the food scarce and rotten, the beds crowded and dirty, the work hard, sleep hard to come by, and treatment by the guards brutal.  But, she found a way to be grateful for the smallest of blessings.  At one point she was moved into a new barracks and discovered that it was infested with fleas.  She realized that she could actually be grateful for the fleas, as they kept the guards from coming into the barracks and checking on the prisoners.  While they were in their room, the prisoners were free to talk and pray and read the scriptures, without worries that the guards would make them stop.

In a talk entitled Remembrance and Gratitude, from October 1989 General Conference, Henry B. Eyring quoted a poem called, "How Different."  It points out the difference between the person who complains when even one thing in life is not "just so" and the person who finds the one bright spot in a life that is fraught with difficulty and trial.  Corrie Ten Boom was the second type of person.  Here is the poem.

Some murmur when the sky is clear
And wholly bright to view,
If one small speck of dark appear
In their great heaven of blue:
And some with thankful love are filled,
If but one streak of light,
One ray of God’s good mercy, gild
The darkness of their night.

I needed this reminder today.  I have so much to be grateful for.  I have 9 beautiful children.  I have a husband who loves me, honors his priesthood, and lifts me up and carries me when I feel I cannot walk any further.  I have the gospel in my life.  I have a temple within easy distance of my home where I can go and feel wrapped in the love of my Heavenly Father.   I know of the Savior, and of his love for me. "Counting my Blessings" is not difficult as there are so many.  But I think I want to improve on being grateful for the "fleas" in my life, being grateful for the little things that at first glance, don't even really seem like blessings. 

By the Power of the Holy Ghost

My little ones take a lot of physical effort.  They need carrying and holding and changing and dressing and feeding and bandaging and tickling, and pushing in the swing…I could keep going but I think the point is made. 

My older children take lots of mental and emotional effort.  They need to talk…….A LOT!  They need counsel. They need a listening ear.  They need a very patient mother and father who can listen to their heartaches, complaints and concerns and objections to family rules.
 
I have found that the key to counseling with my children is to make sure that everything I say is said under the influence of the Holy Ghost.

2 Nephi 33:1 says:

"…when a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men."

I feel like this scripture is speaking to me in my role as a mother.  It tells me how I can best reach my children in difficult situations.  I cannot explain in words the awesome connection I feel with a child, when I am speaking to him under the influence of the Holy Ghost, and when he, in turn is listening and feeling by that same Spirit.  There is almost a tangible feeling in the room.  Hearts are softened and our communication is pure.

Compare that to the times that I just "react" to something a child says, and start lecturing and giving my opinions without letting the spirit guide me.  I get nowhere when I do this.  If anything I feel like it makes things worse.

I have children who are going through big challenges in their lives.  I am so grateful for the gift of the Holy Ghost.  I am so grateful for its guidance in helping me to know what to say to my children to help them in their lives.

Laundry Day

Yes, we do a lot of laundry at our house.  And yes, we have great big front loader machines.  But, NO!  I do not do all the laundry.  Years and years and years ago I was talking to a friend whose children were much much older than my 5, 3, and 1 year old boys.  She had five children and mentioned that they all did their own laundry.  She taught them at age five or six.  I couldn't believe it!  But I decided to give it a try. 

 I got Brandon, age 5 his own laundry basket, and each week I would help him sort his clothes, add some towels and other family items to his wash to make sure the machines were running on full, helped him measure in the soap and turn on the machine.  I taught him to prespot his stains and to check the items again before he threw them into the dryer.  For a long time, probably a year or two, I was there while he did his laundry.  But he got more and more competent. Pretty soon, he could do his laundry all on his own.  Did he sometimes mix the lights with the darks?  Yes.  Did he sometimes miss treating a stain?  Yes.  Did he need to be reminded to get his things into the dryer?  Yes.  But he was sorting and washing his clothes all on his own on a weekly basis, and folding them and putting them away as well.  That lightened my laundry chores just a little….a very little. 

Eventually, Kyle was able to do his own laundry, then Benjamin, and then Jacob and Nathan.  By the time Jacob and Nathan were starting to wash their own clothes, we had purchased much larger machines. I recruited Nathan into the "do your own wash" program a little early and he and his older brother, Jacob, did their laundry together.  Doing this made sure that the new bigger machines always had full loads.  One boy's little clothes just weren't enough for a full load of lights and a full load of darks each week.  Doing their wash together fixed that problem.  It also turned out to be good because Jacob was there to mentor Nathan as he learned the steps to washing and drying clothes.  At folding time they would separate their clothes and each put away his own. 

Now their clothes are much bigger.  They do their wash separately.  They still often do a load of lights together as the bulk of their clothes are darker colors.  Now, Olivia and Emily are doing their own wash, usually together, to make sure the washer gets completely filled. 

..I have to mention here that they also wash their own bath towels each week.  Each child has two of his or her own towels.

We also have "the green basket."  We've had this basket for years and I wouldn't be surprised if when we someday replace it we can't even find one in the dated hunter green color.  But whatever color basket we replace it with, I'm sure it will still be called the green basket.  This basket sits next to the washer and dryer in the laundry room which is right off the kitchen.  Into that basket I throw random dish towels, baby clothing, socks etc. When our children do their own wash they are asked to fill up their load with any lights or darks from this basket.  The older boys always have room in their lights for at least a few things. 

With so many children doing their own laundry, I have assigned each of them a laundry day.  On that child's day he has first dibs on the washing machine.  If someone else has an emergency, he can still do wash, but needs to be respectful of the "child of the day's" wash. 
When Brandon first started doing his own laundry so many years ago, it really didn't result in saving me that much time.  But over the years, having many children doing their own laundry, HAS saved me a lot of time.  Right now, with seven children still living at home, I am only doing wash for my husband and myself, Sophia and David. 

So why is there still always clean unfolded laundry on my couch when my visiting teachers come?  Why am I am still regularly dumping the hamper of clean laundry out on my bedroom floor to find clean jammies for the baby? 

I don't know.  I've only figured out the "getting the wash clean and dried" part of the laundry chore.  I  still have a hard time getting it folded and put away, even if it is just for four people!!!