I've never been excited about potty training. When Brandon (turning 22 years old this coming week) turned two and people started asking me if I was potty training him, I figured it must be time to start. I picked up the book, "Potty training in less than a day" from the library, armed myself with snacks and drinks and a fun sticker chart, got a babysitter for Kyle for the morning and decided to give it a go. By noon, both he and I were done. I felt like crying, he was not enjoying being confined to the kitchen despite all my fun snacks and enthusiasm, and I was frustrated that my careful reading of the book had not yielded the desired results. That experience put a bad taste in my mouth for potty training that I've never really been able to get rid of.
However, I have figured out what works best for me when it comes to potty training. It’s the same answer that I have found works for almost every parenting, mothering and other family related question. And that is, listen to advice from others, but above all else, listen to the spirit. I love to read books and blogs and web sites and to pick the brains of other Moms who've experienced things I am going through. But when it comes down to deciding exactly what is best for my family, I listen to the spirit. There is a scripture that tells us to "study out in our mind" and then ask God what we should do. I testify that in mothering…this really works.
I potty train in a very relaxed, child led way. I have never, since that first miserable experience, tried to do it in a day. Instead, it is a gradual experience over a number of months, culminating in a week or so of more focused practice. I watch for clues in my child that she is ready. Can she pull her pants up and down? Is she able to sit still and relax long enough to "let the pee come?" Is she interested? Does she hate having a dirty diaper? Does she walk off to "do her business?" These readiness signs are not rocket science. They are found in almost every potty training book. Mostly, I wait for my child to be willing and ready. I want my child to want to be potty trained. I have no desire to force it when she is not ready.
I have a portable potty chair. I also have a small seat that sits on a regular toilet seat. I prefer to teach my little ones to use a regular toilet as it makes it much easier when we are out and about. But at the same time, I let the child choose which potty to use each time. I get the potty chairs out and let the child get used to seeing them, asking occasionally if she wants to sit down on one. Usually, the first time a child is successful, it catches her by surprise. We make a huge deal of it and call Grandma and anyone else who we think might be interested. It is often a long time before the child goes again. But that is ok. She remembers her success, continues to watch and learn as older siblings and parents use the potty, and someday she will be ready to try again.
Sophia recently turned 3 and has had quite a few experiences being successful on the potty, but has not been excited to begin using it all the time and even the promise of big girl underwear has not been incentive for her. And as a busy Mom of 9, who doesn't get all that excited about potty training another child herself, I'm afraid I haven't made it much of a priority either.
Potty training takes some focus on my part. I need to not be too busy with projects or running around too many places. It takes a few days of just staying at home. Heavenly Father usually prompts me as to when it would be a good time for me to "potty train." It is as important that the time is right for me, as it is for the time to be right for my child. Until last week it just never seemed like the right time. The right time kind of caught me by surprise. It happened on our recent trip………
You know you are a busy Mom when it is easier to potty train your little one on vacation than when you are at home. We returned just last weekend from a magical trip to Disneyland. I was surprised to find, that Sophia, resistant to using the potty at home, thought that the public bathrooms at Disneyland were great fun. Every couple of hours found us searching out a restroom for someone or other, and she decided that going in with Mom was preferable to sitting in the stroller with whoever was staying out with the baby. And that consistency was just what she needed to make using the potty a habit. She used the big potty regularly throughout our trip. When we got home she continued using the potty and staying dry most of the time. Today we made the long awaited trip to the store to let her pick out her own big girl underwear. Of course, she wanted "Minnie Mouse." Another few days and I think we will have conquered potty training with yet another child. "Yippee!!"
Sophia told me today that she will give all of her diapers to David. So generous of her, don't you think?
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