Clutches and Courtship

Shortly after my husband and I became engaged we took a road trip to Arizona for me to meet his family.  The trip there was uneventful.   We enjoyed time with his parents and siblings, and had engagements photos taken.  After a couple of short days we needed to head back for school.  We were about three and a half hours from home when the clutch on our car went out.  My car had a manual transmission and without a working clutch, we couldn't really shift gears.  We coasted in to a gas station to figure out what to do.  My fiancé quickly assessed the situation and calmly told me that he knew how to pop the clutch and get the car started.  To do this, he had to run beside the car, pushing it to get it rolling.  The door was open as he ran and once the car was moving well he jumped into the front seat and was able to 'ease' it into gear.  As he sped up, he continued to slip the transmission into the next gear.  Once we got up to highway speed we thought we would be fine as long as we didn't need to stop the car.  The Lord was watching over us.  Since we had just finished topping off the gas tank, the tank was full enough to get us home without another gas stop.  And even once we got into town we didn't hit a single red light.  With careful timing we were able to pull into the parking lot of the apartment building where we lived without needing to come to a complete stop anytime during the drive. 

Yes, it was a testimony building experience for me.  I felt our Heavenly Father's watchful care over us, helping us to get home safely.  But I also learned something else.  I learned something about the character of the man that I had chosen to be my eternal companion.  Not once did he exclaim in anger, use bad language, or complain.  He calmly assessed the situation, took care of the problem and made me feel secure and looked after.

I was so grateful for this experience.  Dating and college life was full of fun, dances, activities and study dates. Our courtship had been a whirlwind of wonderful times together and we had had our decision to marry confirmed by answers to our prayers.   But seeing my "husband to be"  in a real life stressful situation allowed me to really see what a good man I had found. 

Today after church my son, Kyle, noticed that his baby brother needed his messy diaper changed.  I was fixing lunch in the kitchen when he came and asked where the diapers were.  He quickly took care of the diaper.  No one had asked him to; he didn't complain.  I pointed out to his fiancé what Kyle had done.  His actions today demonstrated the kind of father that he will be someday. 

I think that it is so important during courtship for couples to notice these types of things.  We have told our children, "As you search for a spouse, look for someone who you want to go through the hard times of life with."  Seeing Kyle taking care of his little brother, seeing Jerry calmly take care of a difficult car situation…these experiences help one to see true character.  And someone with good character, Christ-like attributes, and desires to follow the Lord….that is who you want to go through those difficult times in your life with.

Here's what Richard G. Scott, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles says about choosing a spouse. (from April 1999 General Conference)

"There is more to a foundation of eternal marriage than a pretty face or an attractive figure. There is more to consider than popularity or charisma. As you seek an eternal companion, look for someone who is developing the essential attributes that bring happiness: a deep love of the Lord and of His commandments, a determination to live them, one that is kindly understanding, forgiving of others, and willing to give of self, with the desire to have a family crowned with beautiful children and a commitment to teach them the principles of truth in the home."

Daddy's Books

One of my favorite things to see Jerry do as a Daddy is read to his children.  Most nights he can be found laying on the floor in the girls' bedroom, reading to them from whatever chapter book they are doing.  Right now, he is reading "The Emerald City of Oz" by Frank Baum, to them.  Jerry has read to our kids for many many years.  He has told me that he was not much of a reader as a child.  He only read the books he needed to for school assignments.  He says, "Now, with my own kids, I am reading all the classics I should have read as a child."  When he finishes a book he comes to me to ask which one should be next. 

We homeschool our children and I spend quite a bit of time each day reading to and with our children.  So I welcome his desire to read to the children at night.  He reads completely different books than what we read during the day.  That way, he doesn't miss any of the storyline.  And we get twice as many good books read to our children.

Some books are better "read alouds" than others.  Here are a few of our favorites that have been repeated over the years as our children have grown up.

Charlotte's Web  - E.B. White
The Trumpet of the Swan - E.B. White
Stuart Little - E.B. White
The Great Brain - John D Fitzgerald
Little House in the Big Woods - Laura Ingalls Wilder
Little House on the Prairie - Laura Ingalls Wilder
Farmer Boy - Laura Ingalls Wilder
The Secret Garden - Francis Hodgson Burnett
A Little Princess - Francis Hodgson Burnett
The Cricket in Times Square - George Selden
Heidi - Johanna Spyri
Summer of the Monkeys - Wilson Rawls
Little Britches - Ralph Moody
Caddie Woodlawn - Carol Ryrie Brink
Snow Treasure - Marie McSwigen
Mr Popper's Penguins - Richard and Florence Atwater
The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis

Each morning when our girls tidy up their room they find a pair of Daddy's big socks on their floor.  Sometime during his nightly reading he took them off and left them there.  They are a precious reminder to the girls of the love their Daddy has for them, and the time he has taken to be with them.  I hope they never feel frustrated by having to pick up their Dad's dirty socks, but remember what they symbolize. 

Polka Dot Family

This week I have been a little under the weather…nothing major…just a little virus.  I've been snuffy, tired, headache etc.  Jerry and I had been planning all week to go to the temple tonight.  I was sure I would be feeling well enough and planned my day accordingly. 

Last night Sophia was a little under the weather but with a good night's rest she seemed well enough today.  This morning Olivia woke with a sore throat and hadn't slept very well.  Emily had a headache which got progressively worse through the day.  Later in the afternoon she started to complain of a tummy-ache, and carried a bowl with her everywhere she went.  Then Nathan came in and said, "Mom - I think I have a rash.  Look!"  His chest and stomach were covered with red polka dots.  Earlier this week he'd been feverish and had chills, and had complained of a headache a few times, but I didn't connect it with the rash at first. 
 
I started to wonder if we should maybe stay home from the temple.  Emily was worried that I wouldn't be there if she threw up.  She's only 8 and I can totally understand that.  Throwing up is one of the worst kinds of sick, and having Mom there makes it a teency bit easier to stand. 

Jerry had come up to change for the temple and I went into the room to fill him in on our recent state of ill health.  When I brought up Nathan's polka dots his eyes opened wider and he said (while lifting his shirt), "Do they look like these?" He had discovered them only minutes before as he was changing.  His polka dots matched Nathan's exactly.  "Yikes!!  Okay.  That settles it.  We are staying home tonight."

I then proceeded to check every other member of the family, including myself, for polka dots.  Olivia has them..mainly on her legs.  In the meantime, Nathan had a few polka dots show up on his legs and feet. 

I looked up a few things online, verified that no one was feverish, and decided that I think we just have a viral rash.  Calling them red polka dots is fun but probably makes them seem bigger and scarier than what they actually are.  I think we'll stay home a day or two and if they are not gone, have the doctor check them out.  But I think they will just disappear as quickly as they came.  I'm not too worried. 

However, Jacob is now convinced of the health benefits of immense peanut butter and honey sandwiches on homemade whole wheat bread.  He consumes these several times a day and figures that is why he is polka dot free.

And Nathan came to me as I was fixing dinner and said, "If we clean up the house really quick, do you think we could have a 'WE ARE ALL SICK' party tonight?"  I don't know that we really had a party tonight, but we did watch something together as a family before heading up to bed. 

Now, we'll just pray that Emily's stomach is settled enough for Jerry and I to get a good night's rest.

Sappy Mommy Moment

So lately, Sophia has discovered the fun of the digital camera.  When she is bored and can't think of anything to do she asks if she can use the camera to take pictures.  Recently it came to my attention that the card on my camera was getting quite full with all of Sophia's pictures, so today I decided to stick the card into my computer and clean it off quickly and efficiently. 

But that didn't happen quite as anticipated.  As I started to scan through the pictures I got kind of misty eyed.  I was seeing our home through the eyes of my 4 year old.  I was seeing what was important to her.  I wasn't seeing the cleaned up version that you often get when you take a picture.  I saw the messes in all their glory…the piles of flip flops by the front door and the baby board books that permanently live on the floor.  I saw her first attempts at "selfies."  I also saw pictures that the older girls had taken of things obviously important to them…things they wanted to immortalize.  I saw hairdos, a perfectly made bed, the gerbil, and a carefully made plate of cucumbers for dinner. 

I just couldn't erase all of them.  I think they give a more accurate picture of life in our home than more carefully posed pictures would give.  I ended up spending an awful lot of time just enjoying the pictures the girls had taken.  And then there were the "movies."  I still haven't watched all of them, but they are pretty silly and fun!!

Sophia's pictures are by no means works of photographic genius.  Sometimes they are blurry.  But they are endearing.  Here's one that I clearly remember being taken…David asked Sophia to take a picture of his belly!!

 

Sophia painted this picture of a rainbow.  It has been up on the fridge for weeks.  When I told Sophia that she couldn't take any pictures until I cleared off the camera she made me promise that I wouldn't delete her rainbow. 

 

FHE Discussion...inspired by skunks?

This summer has been the "summer of the skunks" in our small town.  For some reason the skunks are flourishing.  They are living under sheds, carrying off chickens, and even being so bold as to eat cat food and chicken feed off of people's porches.  We've seen so many skunks in the evenings this summer that our boys, who usually enjoy many nights sleeping out on the trampoline, have avoided it.  Jerry has a gigantic lime green flashlight that he can shine out our back sliding door and see all the way back to our chicken coop.  It has been out quite a bit this summer as we scope things out in the evenings. 

Last night for Family Home Evening, Jerry led a simple and awesome discussion.  He brought his super powerful lime green flashlight with him.  It has a battery that detaches and can be charged.  He simply asked each of us to think up some kind of gospel principle or lesson that could be understood better by comparing it with his flashlight.  We started with Sophia and went up the family from there.  The discussion was excellent.  Everyone contributed.  Every person had a different idea, and we added to each other's ideas as they were presented. 

Here are a few of the ideas that were brought up:

"The flashlight is like your body and the battery is like your spirit.  Your body can't move without being connected to the spirit".

"The flashlight and battery can be compared to the story of the ten virgins.  You can't share your flashlight battery with someone else.  Every flashlight needs its own battery.  You need to be prepared and make sure your battery is ready and charged for when you will need it." 
 
"The flashlight could be faith, and the battery could be works.  Faith without works is dead."

"The flashlight is ordinances like the sacrament and baptism.  Without the battery, which is the proper priesthood authority, the words said in the sacrament and baptismal prayers are not effective."

He finished by challenging us to look for gospel lessons in objects and situations all around us every day. 

In the manual, Teaching, No Greater Call, it says,

"You can use comparisons and object lessons to help learners understand intangible principles.  Together with the use of stories and personal testimony, these methods give you an excellent set of tools for teaching the eternal realities that we cannot perceive with our senses."

The Savior used comparisons in his teaching as well.  He called himself the Bread of Life, and the Good Shepherd. Some of my favorite General Conference talks are those which use analogies and comparisons to teach gospel lessons.  It's probably the way I learn the gospel the best!!

Reverence is More than just Quietly Sitting.....

I love to watch David, 26 months, as he putters around in the backyard.  He really doesn't need much to be amused.  He wanders around, stopping here and there to pick up a roly poly or a ladybug.  Once in a while he crouches down to watch an ant or a spider, not daring to touch.  He sits down in the grass and just wiggles his bare toes feeling the softness.  Sometimes he lays down in it and just rolls.  If there is any water at all in the yard, whether a little puddle from rain or the sprinklers, or a little left in the wading pool from yesterday's swimming, David will find it.  He splashes his fingers in it, dabbles his toes, and once in a while sits down in it with a big splash, clothes and all.  He laughs and giggles in absolutely joy, nothing held back. 

A few days ago I saw him sitting quietly on the edge of the patio.  I stopped what I was doing to watch.  He caught my attention because he was so still, and for such a long time.  He just sat there.  As I watched him I sensed that he was observing everything around him.  He saw the white butterflies fluttering in and around the sage plants.  He felt the warm sun on his face.  He could see the breeze blowing what is left of our spring daffodils.  From this teeny little guy, I learned something about reverence. 

In our church we have a little book called, True to the Faith.  In it gospel topics are addressed in alphabetical order.  Each topic contains a brief explanation along with scriptures to aid our understanding.  Under the topic of reverence, it states, "Reverence is profound respect and love."  I believe that David, young as he is, was not just sitting quietly on the patio.  I believe, that right there, for a moment, he was feeling a profound respect and love for the beautiful world that his Heavenly Father has created for him.  At such a tender age, he was feeling reverence for Heavenly Father's creations.

So often, we think of reverence as sitting quietly with folded arms in a church meeting.  But it is so much more.  It is what we are thinking about.  It is how we are feeling.  It is demonstrated by our actions.  We can feel reverence in our homes, outside in nature, in the temple…not just in church.   Purposefully striving to be more reverent can bring us closer to the Lord and help us to have the influence of the Spirit more in our lives.