Caps For Sale

We have a storybook in our home called "Caps for Sale" (author Esphyr Slobodkina.)  It is about a peddler who sells caps.  One day he lay down to take a nap under a tree.  When he woke he discovered that his caps had been stolen by a band of mischievous monkeys.  He tried everything to get them to give back his caps.  He shook his finger at them and scolded them.  Instead of giving him back the caps the monkeys just shook their fingers at him and scolded him right back.  He shook both his fists at them and scolded.  They just shook their fists and scolded just the same.  He stamped his feet.  The monkeys stamped their feet and still did not give the caps back.  Finally in frustration, the peddler took the one remaining cap on his own head and threw it on the ground.  Much to his surprise, each and every monkey took the cap off of his head and threw it on ground in just the same way.  The peddler gathered his caps, stacked them up on his head, and went on his way.

I often call my children, especially the little ones, by funny little names.  "Little monkey" is one of them.  But truthfully, my children are actually a lot like the monkeys in the book.  They are excellent copycats.  Children learn a lot of things about the world and about relationships by emulating what they see around them.  Sometimes we as parents teach our children more by what we do than by what we say or tell them to do.  How often do you hear your child say something and think, "Where did she come up with that?" only to realize that you yourself often say the same thing. 

When you have lots of children in your family, younger ones will also emulate the older ones - the good behaviors and speech as well as the not so good.  I try to teach my children that they have a responsibility to make good choices in their walk and in their talk, as they have younger brothers and sisters that are always watching them, and copying them. 
 
Here is something that happened the other day as told by one of our daughters in an email to her missionary brother, Kyle:

"So when we were doing family prayers I was on this little horse thing instead of kneeling down, and Sophia saw what I was doing and she wanted to do it so she got on her tricycle. Mom saw what I was doing and said quietly that the horse didn’t need to be part of family prayer and so I pushed away the horse and emiddietly (immediately - her spelling) after Sophia saw me do that she pushed hers away likewise. I didn’t realize ,but mom sure did. She right off said I was a good example. That made me feel so good inside. I now am really careful about how I act and what I do and say, because if I don’t my little sisters will still follow what I do and say. Once I started to act a little weird, and then Emily started to do what I did, and so it taught me a lesson, that I need to be careful of how I act. I can remember I always wanted to be like you boys (remember, she's writing this to her brother), and so I took off my shirt when I slept and everything…."

Our daughter learned that day just how powerful her own example can be to those around her.

President David O. McKay said,

"Example is the influence that emanates from one person and sponsors a similar response in another person.  The power of example is probably the most common source of moral motivation, especially among children." (Gospel Ideals, p. 419)

Gotta Love the Garbage Man

Twas the morning after Christmas
And all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse….

When out on the street
There arose such a clatter
We sprang from our beds.
We KNEW what was the matter….

Garbage day was the day after Christmas this year.  We'd had a late night and were spending a little extra time in bed the next morning, when I heard that familiar rumbling. The garbage truck was coming up the street.   "Oh no!!  Honey, (I said to Jerry) is the garbage can out?"  He didn't say a word but tore out of bed, threw on some clothes and bolted out the door.  He was just in time to put our can, very full from Christmas, out in the street.  Of all days of the year, this was one day we didn't want to miss getting our garbage can emptied. 
 
I have a little bit of paranoia when it comes to garbage day.  With two children in diapers, and nine people living under our roof right now, we fill our can to capacity every week.  I frequently wake up in a panic about 2 am the night before the garbage truck comes and say, "Jerry!  Are you awake?  Did we get the garbage can out?"  Sometimes I will hear the truck coming while I'm still in bed.  I will jump out of bed so fast and look out the window to see if our can is out.  Jerry is awesome at making sure the can gets put out.  He often does it the night before.  I really shouldn't worry about it.  He's given me no reason to…BUT I DO. 

I think I've transferred garbage day paranoia to some of my kids as well.  I've noticed that on the rare occasions that Jerry is out of town, my big boys will hear that truck coming and jump out of bed or up from whatever they are doing, to check if the can has been put out.  Actually, I don't think they are paranoid.  They are just looking out for their paranoid mother.  Thank you boys!!! 

Since we are on the subject of garbage today, here's a cute poem that we've memorized as a family:

GARBAGE CAN HEAD (I don't know the author)

With garbage and junk
Our can is well fed,
And what we don't use
We throw out instead.
But what of the things that we've seen, heard, or said?
Oh, What can we do with a garbage can head?

Called to Serve..and Support

One of my callings in our ward is to play the organ for sacrament meeting.  When I approached the organ this morning to play prelude I noticed a note sitting on the keys.  It was not signed and simply said:

Thanks for the spirit that you bring with your music.  You have no idea how much it adds.  Remember that you do make a difference.

That little note made my day.  Thank you to whoever took the time to do that small act. 
 
In our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, all members take part in teaching and leading the ward (congregation).  We do not choose in what organization or position we will serve, but we do what we are asked because we believe that every call to serve comes from the Lord.  We do not choose how long we will serve in a given position.  That too, we leave up to the Lord. 
 
President Boyd K. Packer said in October 1997 General Conference:

"It is not in the proper spirit for us to decide where we will serve or where we will not. We serve where we are called. It does not matter what the calling may be."

We agree to sustain one another in our callings.  That means that we help when we are asked.  We give support in any way we can to one another.  In our families, husbands and wives can support their spouses in callings, and children can support their parents in their callings. 

My husband has a new calling that requires him to attend meetings early on Sunday mornings, before church.  That leaves me at home to get everyone else ready on my own.  I can't be late myself as I play piano for Relief Society the very first hour.  We talked to the family when Jerry got this new call, and explained how we would have new opportunities to support both Mom and Dad in their callings. 

This morning was their first chance to help out.  The boys were up earlier than usual so that they could be ready in time to be helpful instead of only getting themselves ready.  Olivia did the same.  She took the responsibility for dressing Sophia.  I got up a little earlier than usual and when all was said and done, we were actually on time for church. Our children also helped watch over one another during the first part of sacrament meeting while I was playing the organ.   I'm not expecting that every week will go as smoothly as today…that's life right?...but I was grateful for the efforts of all our children today.  I feel that it is a blessing for my children to have opportunities to offer real help and support to their Mom and Dad so that they can perform the callings that the Lord has issued them. 

When we are set apart for callings we are promised blessings that will help us to magnify our callings.  Whenever I have been set apart for a calling I always notice that I am blessed that I will be able to fulfill my calling as well as continue to take care of all the needs of my family.  I have seen this blessing in my life. 

Today was our ward Christmas program.  One of the songs we were doing had a piano accompaniment that was somewhat difficult for me.   I had hoped to have more time to practice than I actually ended up having. So far this December we've had quite a bit of illness in our house, and a Dad who's had to be out of town on business.  I've had very little time to play the piano.   I said a silent prayer this morning because I knew that I needed help to play the song.  As I played I felt such clarity in my mind and coordination in my fingers, that I knew that I was being given Heavenly help.  I have felt this kind of help before.  Sometimes our callings challenge us, but I know that with the challenge, comes the help that we need to magnify our responsibilities. 

President Ezra Taft Benson taught:

 “There can be no failure in the work of the Lord when [we] do [our] best. We are but instruments; this is the Lord’s work. This is His Church, His gospel plan. These are His children we are working with. He will not permit us to fail if we do our part. He will magnify us even beyond our own talents and abilities when necessary. This I know. I am sure many of you have experienced it as I have. It is one of the sweetest experiences that can come to a human being” (The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson [1988], 372).

Christmas Vacation

While today was not without its more mundane moments, (there were still dishes to do, laundry to fold, diapers to change and messes to clean up) it was also one of those days that I know I will remember when my children are grown and gone. 

 It snowed last night and all day too.  The kids played together in the snow and I held my baby and stood watching at the window for a long time.  I loved seeing Jacob, 14, roll around in the snow and help the little girls build their snow forts.  I loved seeing Nathan, 12, building his fort with his talented artistic eye.  I loved watching Sophia trudging through snow past her knees and looking up into the sky with her mouth open.  When she wasn't catching flakes on her tongue she was scooping the white stuff into her mouth with her hands.  I loved watching Olivia, 10, and Emily, 6, scoop up armfuls of snow to build their forts, throw snowballs at each other, and of course at their big brothers, and dive over the giant piles of snow that the snowplow made next to our yard.  I watched gratefully, as Benjamin, 17, shovelled our driveway and sidewalk.  I'm sure there will be more to shovel in the morning, but the task won't be near so daunting because of his hard work today.

We drank warm apple juice spiced with cinnamon sticks and cloves with our lunch, then decided to make Christmas sugar cookies.  The boys reminded me that we did not make them at all last year.  I was still in the nauseous stage of pregnancy and we didn't do much baking at all last Christmas.  In fact, we had hamburgers for Christmas dinner, cooked by DAD!!  That was much easier on me than putting on a big dinner. 

Sophia had a grand time frosting cookies…or should I say…cookie.  She only frosted one cookie.  Picture this.  Spread some frosting, add some sprinkles, take a bite.  Add some more frosting and sprinkles, then take another bite.  More frosting, more sprinkles…you get the picture. 

Christmas vacation also means lots of games at our house.  We love games but regular life gets so busy that we don't play them as often as we'd like.  We got out our junior version of Trivial Pursuit and Bananagrams today.  The boys played a game of Clue later this evening.  The next couple of weeks should bring lots more family game time.

The little ones are in bed now and we are anxiously watching the weather to see what Benjamin will be facing as he drives to the airport to pick up Jerry.  He's been on a business trip the last couple of days and will be home tonight.  Olivia asked if she could stay up to see him but I told her that it would be much too late.  "I will probably be asleep myself when he gets home," I told her, "But I will roll over in bed and give him a kiss when he comes in."  Olivia replied, "I wish I could be there to see THAT!"

Not every day can be as lovely as today, but it's days like this that make me want to shout to the world, "I LOVE BEING A MOTHER!!"

100 Acts of Kindness

Months ago, in the summertime, our ward got a new bishop.  One of the first things he did was to offer us as members of the ward, a challenge.  He challenged each member to do 100 acts of kindness for our neighbors (those we know and those we don't) before the end of the year.  Our family decided to accept this challenge and just last week, finished.  It was a great experience.  It wasn't easy, considering that many of our younger children needed help with many of their acts of service. 

The members of our ward have always been amazing at helping and serving others.  We have been the recipients of selfless service many times.  But this challenge helped us all see service and kindness a little differently.  I think we all put more of a priority on it.  We noticed more often, little things that we could do to help.  We noticed the little things that others were doing as well.  As a mother, I think I was more aware of opportunities for my children to serve, and then I encouraged and supported them in their efforts to serve.  Our family and our ward and our whole community have been blessed by the efforts put forth by everyone.  I thought about our experience as I watched the Christmas Devotional last week.  The message given by President Monson was the perfect "icing on the cake" to our last few months of service. 

Here is a small excerpt from his talk:

"Our celebration of Christmas should be a reflection of the love and selflessness taught by the Savior. Giving, not getting, brings to full bloom the Christmas spirit. We feel more kindly one to another. We reach out in love to help those less fortunate. Our hearts are softened. Enemies are forgiven, friends remembered, and God obeyed. The spirit of Christmas illuminates the picture window of the soul, and we look out upon the world’s busy life and become more interested in people than in things. To catch the real meaning of the spirit of Christmas, we need only drop the last syllable, and it becomes the Spirit of Christ.

Said President David O. McKay: “True happiness comes only by making others happy—the practical application of the Savior’s doctrine of losing one’s life to gain it. In short, the Christmas spirit is the Christ spirit, that makes our hearts glow in brotherly love and friendship and prompts us to kind deeds of service."

That Christ spirit can be with us all year long.  Serving together with our children brings our families closer together.  Serving brings the spirit into our hearts and homes.  Serving shows our love of the Lord.  Serving blesses all those around us.  Serving others is following the Savior's example. 

Green Smoothies

Many years ago I made my first green smoothie in my Vitamix.  I used a couple of handfuls of spinach, 1 1/2 cups of orange juice, one orange and some ice.  We loved it!!!  I don't really enjoy just drinking plain orange juice, but I really enjoyed it this way.  We made them occasionally, whenever we had spinach in the house, which was not all the time.

The fall of 2008 our family was heavily involved in a major musical which our stake was putting on.  My husband wrote it and was also directing it.  All the children (other than the baby at the time) were involved to one degree or another.  I did not participate, but stayed home with the baby, and kept the house running, made sure everyone ate healthy food, got enough sleep, stayed clean and gave much needed support.  I knew that it was very important for us to remain healthy that entire fall, and especially towards the end of October and through November for dress rehearsal and performances.  Starting in September, I gave everyone Dr. Christopher's Anti Plague every single day.  We also drank more and more green smoothies as the weeks went on.  We found that we really really loved our green smoothies.  We stayed healthy that entire fall…not a single cold or cough, no throwing up…nothing.  I am sure that Heavenly Father blessed us, wanting our project to be a success.  However, I also know that Heavenly Father  wants us to  do all we can as well.  We did that.  We did all we could to be healthy and then let him bless us.

Since then, green smoothies have become a staple in our home.  We eat them for breakfast more days of the week than not, and sometimes even make them for lunch or to go with dinner. 
 
I've learned a lot of things over the years that help me to make my green smoothies more interesting. We almost always add bananas to our smoothies.  They add sweetness and creaminess and you really don't need any other added sweetener.  My green drinks are now no longer always green.  They range from deep purple to a sickly brown or swamp green, depending on the ingredients.  I have also learned to experiment with lots of different greens - our favorites are spinach, cabbage (red or green), kale, collards and lettuce.  I also learned that you can freeze your greens to use in your smoothies.  I buy the huge Costco bags of spinach then freeze them in ziplocs. More often than not I just throw the whole bag straight from the store into the freezer. You can just break off chunks to blend up.  When I find a sale on some of the other greens, I buy lots and freeze those too.  I never have greens go slimy and bad in the fridge anymore now that I have learned to freeze them if I am not using them quickly enough.  We grow a green smoothie garden filled with different varieties of lettuce, kale, spinach, collards and beets.  We freeze as many as we can so that we don't have to buy greens again until the dead of winter.  Even now we are still using greens that we froze earlier this fall.

We buy our bananas at Costco as well.  They are typically cheaper than even the sale prices at our grocery stores.  They laugh at us in the checkout line as we regularly buy 7-8 bunches at a time.  Our whole family loves to eat bananas plain and with all the smoothies we make I try to buy enough that I can freeze some of them for times when I cannot get to Costco.  The amazing thing is, I rarely can freeze more than a few.  We eat them all before I get around to it.  (To freeze the bananas I peel them and break them in half and freeze them in ziploc bags.)  Another favorite ingredient at Costco is the Frozen Mixed Berries.  They cover up any green taste in a smoothie very well - a bonus for those who are new to green drinks.  We also use Costco's frozen blueberries, strawberries and mixed fruit.   I did some price comparison on frozen fruit between Walmart and Costco.  Costco won hands down.  We also like to buy our grapes and mangoes at Costco.  The Costco mangoes cost a little over a dollar apiece but they are always gigantic and guaranteed to taste good.

….Oh yes, another ingredient I always add to my green smoothies is flax seed.  I use a couple of tablespoonfuls per blender container.  Be sure to blend your drink thoroughly so you don't taste any grit.  Be aware also, that when you add flax, you will want to drink your smoothie right away.  If you don't, the flax will make the smoothie thicken and get a little gelatinous.  I'm picky when it comes to textures in my food and I don't like the jelly-like consistency.

Here is our basic template for green smoothies:
1/2-1/3 blenderful of greens
2T flax seeds
2 bananas
Fill the rest of the blender with fruit
Water and or ice as needed.  I usually add a cup to a cup and a half of water and don't need ice as some of my ingredients are usually frozen. A general rule is to use about 50% of the blender filled with greens, the other half with fruit.

Needless to say, we've gone from having green smoothies once in a while, to having them almost every day. We now always have greens in the house, in the fridge and in the freezer.   If we don't have one for breakfast we'll make one (or two blenders full for our huge crew) for lunch.  I've even been known to serve one with dinner when I didn't have time to cook.  Scrambled eggs and lots of green smoothie is a nice easy dinner. Even Sophia loves "num" as she calls it.  Occasionally when we have overindulged on a holiday or at a family party it is fun for me to hear my children say, "Mom - I think tomorrow all I want to eat is green smoothie and whole wheat bread."  They are listening to their bodies.  The sweets and treats were fun, but when it is all over and done, they want the good wholesome stuff to get their bodies back in shape. 

Tried and True

Christmas is coming and parents are all shopping for surprises for their children.  Over the years we've found that some toys are classics.  Our children have played and played and played with them.  Other toys are fun initially but eventually lose their appeal. 
You don’t have space and money to buy every wonderful toy out there, but by choosing carefully you can ensure that your little ones have toys for playtime that will encourage them to learn and create and use their imaginations.

I put together a list of toys and materials that I feel have been the classics in our home over the years. 

The Dress up Box –pretty dancing dresses, (especially ones that go out when you spin), old Halloween costumes, a few old things of Mom and Dads ( ties, shoes, hats), all kinds of pioneer costumes such as skirts and bonnets and aprons. I also keep some inexpensive face paints around.  Children go through spurts where they are painted or dressed up almost every day.

Building Toys – for boys and girls – Lego, wooden blocks, Large Duplos ( I have found that it is better to choose one kind of building set or another and add to your collection occasionally, than to have smaller sets of many types of building toys.)

Dolls/Animals – really anything to “Play family” (including strollers, and baby beds often made with cardboard boxes.)  My boys and girls alike love to play family.  They incorporate "store" and "library" and "riding in an airplane" into their games

Cash Register - $40, solar powered.  We bought ours years ago and it is still going strong.  Every other year or so we restock the play money.

Kitchen and play food

Craft Supplies – We make a fun trip of restocking when school supplies go on sale.  We walk through the craft and school supply section at Walmart and have a ball.  These are also great birthday gifts and stocking stuffers.  Besides the typical markers, glue etc.  here are some other things to keep around.  Cardboard boxes – all sizes – bigger is better for some kids, balloons, contact paper, popsicle sticks, duct tape, envelopes from junk mail, supplies for making their own books, homemade playdo, beading supplies, yarn, watercolors (don’t underestimate how young a child will like these – Emily began to paint at about 18months old)

Outdoor and active things – a sandbox, balls, bikes, scooters, frisbees, kites

Weapons – swords, rubber band guns, popsicle sticks and other supplies to make weapons

Tools – handsaws, hammers, nails, scrap wood

Science toys – magnifying glass, binoculars, magnets, Snap Circuits, Capsela, microscope,

Musical Instruments – old guitar, trombone, ukelele, recorders

Forts in the living room – need access to lots of blankets, heavy books and clothes pins

…..puzzles, yoyos, marbles, jacks, juggling balls, and long skinny balloons and a pump to make balloon animals are also lots of fun.

I would rather my children have a few toys that they really love and use every day, than a playroom full of toys that are just taking up space.  We regularly go through our toys and find some that we are not using or have outgrown that we can give to someone else.  My kids love the idea of blessing someone else with a toy that they no longer need.  And our toy shelf is much easier to keep tidy and organized when there is not so much stuff.

Feast Upon the Words of Christ

….Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do. 2 Nephi 32:3

Obviously, David is taking this scripture too literally!! 

I am so grateful though for books of scripture.  The words of prophets and of Jesus Christ himself, recorded in these holy books can teach us all things.  They can help us with our everyday problems.  They can help us to feel the spirit of the Lord.  As a mother I often feel physically, emotionally and mentally drained from caring for my family.  Reading the scriptures every day, even if it is only a few verses, helps me to "fill my bucket" back up again, so that I can have the strength to continue on with this marvelous work of raising a family with my husband…a work that is so important and so precious and dear to me.

Tired Mama

Having children equals sleep deprivation.  Jerry and I joke that we have been sleep deprived for 21 years.  I remember when Brandon was a newborn, the absolute exhaustion, as we experienced, for the first time in our lives, the effects of waking up every few hours all night long to care for a little person.  When Brandon was only a few weeks old, we saw exactly how tired we were one night.  Brandon had wakened to nurse and I asked Jerry if he wouldn't mind changing his diaper for me.  He said, "Sure," and left the room with the baby.  He came back very quickly and I was impressed with his diaper changing speed.  I commented on it and he said groggily, "Well, I just put a new diaper over the other one." That is sheer "tiredness" for you.

Last night I had a similar experience.  Jerry is away on a business trip, I have a cold, Sophia has been sick and not sleeping well, and David is cutting teeth and not sleeping well himself.  I was pretty exhausted last night and getting up every couple of hours with one child or another was not helping.  I went in to David at one point, nursed him and then realized he needed a diaper change.  I quickly began changing him without turning on the light so he would not be roused too much.  When I began to put on the diaper I realized that the tabs were faulty.  They were opening on the wrong side.  Instead of wanting to wrap around the front of the diaper, they wanted to wrap around the back.  I've had faulty diapers before.  In fact, once I bought a package of diapers where every single diaper was missing the velcro like fastening.  So, instead of getting out another diaper I just twisted the tabs and fastened the diaper in front then put the baby back to bed.  Not even an hour later I was wakened by his crying again.  I went sleepily into his room only to find his jammies and all his blankets sopping wet.  He had peed right through everything.  I yanked everything out of his bed, pulled a huge pile of baby blankets down on top of my head trying to get the snuggly ones from the bottom of the pile on the closet shelf, remade his bed, changed his diaper and jammies, nursed him again because he was not going to settle without it, and finally made my way back to bed. 

The next morning I was cleaning up and taking blankets down to be laundered when I noticed the diaper from the night before sitting on the bed where I had left it.  And guess what I also noticed?  The diaper was folded up inside out.  That explained everything.  I had, in my totally numb and tired state, put the diaper on with the nice absorbent layer on the outside. So much for faulty tabs.  No wonder the diaper hadn't been able to hold anything.  I had to laugh!!!

Missionary Brothers

Today I was thinking about my son Kyle who is on a mission.  He's been out 8 months now.  When our oldest, Brandon, was on his mission in Uganda, every Monday was like Christmas.  We would wake up and immediately check our email.  When we were getting up, he was winding down for the evening of his weekly p-day.  He'd already done his laundry, shopped at the market and emailed his family from an Internet café.  For families of missionaries, those weekly emails are the biggest treat every single week.  It makes you feel close though an ocean may separate you.  I can't imagine what it was like for families "in the old days" when you had to send paper letters, and your missionary sent paper letters in return.  Your news could be weeks old before it was read.  Or the letter may never have even reached its destination.  We are truly spoiled. 

For the last 12 weeks though, Kyle (serving in England) has been in an area where the missionaries use the library to email their families…and the library is closed on Mondays.  So Monday has not been the special day that we are used to.  Instead, the missionaries have to squeeze in their emailing on Tuesday, Wednesday, or occasionally even on Thursday, in between other missionary daily activities.  That has been hard!!  But the fact that I think waiting an extra day or two is hard shows you how truly spoiled we are. 

The nice thing about it is that occasionally, like today, I squeeze in an extra email to him.  I was thinking about our son and his experiences in his mission.  When I opened up my Book of Mormon to read tonight I came across a couple of verses that were exactly what I needed to say to Kyle.  I sent him a quick email with those verses.  I am grateful for the technology that allows me to "mother" my son so far away.  I can, with the click of a button, send him love, advice and fun family news, and he will receive it without having to wait at all. 

We've made it a family tradition that we all email our missionaries on Sunday each week.  Every member of the family sends something, even if it is only a few lines.  Obviously, the baby doesn't write, but he does send a recent picture occasionally, so his big brother can see how he's grown.  I love it that our missionaries take the time to respond to their siblings individually, even if it is brief.  It keeps them connected with their brothers and sisters while they are apart. 

Sophia was born only 5 weeks before Brandon left on his mission.  She was not even 2 when Kyle left on his mission.  And yet she heard about Brandon, saw pictures of Brandon, and heard us pray for her brother Brandon, from the time she was tiny.  When he returned home it didn't take long for her to bond with her big brother.  She already was old enough to notice Kyle's absence when he left on his mission.  But when we talk about her family, she always includes her brother Kyle, and every prayer of hers includes the phrase.."please bless Kyle on a mission."  I know that through emails and pictures, she will continue that bond with yet another missionary brother.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!!!  We made it through all the preparations and now are on our way to cousins to celebrate.  It took us the entire day yesterday to make our five pies.  With a two year old and a six month old, we frequently had to stop what we were doing to help with day to day "emergencies"  The older ones were very helpful with everything though.  Nathan rolled most of the pie crusts and made the filling for the apple and cherry pies.  Jacob cut onions for the stuffing and Benjamin made an emergency trip to the grocery store for bread to finish up the stuffing.  Nathan made the cranberry sauce and Olivia made the taco soup so that we would still have dinner amidst all our preparations.  Emily and Olivia were wonderful in helping to keep Sophie and David happy and content.  But nursing and diapers and babies who sometimes just needed Mom to hold them and no one else would do, were also a part of the day. 

Now, we are all packed up and on our way to visit family and spend the night.  I am so grateful for family.  My family are my best friends.  They are always there for me.  They love me despite my failings.  They cheer me on when I need to do hard things.  I am so grateful for parents who taught me so well, how to love and live the gospel, how to serve, to use my talents to bless others.  I am grateful for my husband's parents (my second Mom and Dad) who have always made me feel like one of their own.  I am grateful for my own brothers and sister and for Jerry's brothers and sisters.  Uncles, aunts, cousins - we have a wonderful, warm, loving, accepting family.   

And I am grateful to be a part of an even larger family.  I know that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us and knows each one of us by name.  He loves unconditionally and desires to bless us and be a part of our lives.  We, every person here on this earth, are his children.  That makes us all brothers and sisters.  Jesus Christ, the Savior of the World, is our elder brother.  He has shown us how to love.  He has shown us how to serve.  He has shown us to love even those who are unkind to us.  He sacrificed his own life that we might repent and be made clean, that we might live with our Heavenly Father again.  On this Thanksgiving Day I am truly grateful!!!

Cold Cereal for Dinner?

What's for dinner tonight?  It's one of those inevitable things about being a human being.  We all need to fill our tummies at least three times a day.  I love to cook, but there are days that I'm so busy or tired by dinnertime, that I kind of wish we could just skip dinner and eat again the next morning when I know I will have more energy.  NOT GOING TO HAPPEN WITH KIDS!!  Today was an extremely busy day and we were out a lot.  The house was pretty untidy when we got home and I hadn't even decided on a plan for dinner.  We started to tidy and tried to think of our options, which were not looking good considering we had three boys who had to be at the church pretty quickly.  Finally I said, "We are having cold cereal and homemade pina coladas for dinner tonight. Someone go grab a box of cereal from the 72 hour kit stash."  (We rarely eat cold cereal because filling our children's bellies with it on a regular basis would break the budget, but we do keep some in our 72 hour kit.  This proved to be a great opportunity to "rotate" our storage.)  Fortunately we had Frosted Mini Wheats in storage this time, so at least they would get a little whole grain to go with their dinner.  Once we decided on our menu, things lightened up and we were all smiling and laughing again.  I joked with the kids that I was probably their #1 hero that night for serving such a yummy dinner.  Seriously! - they love cold cereal and they love homemade pina colada.  Tonight's thrown together meal probably ranked right up there with hamburgers or pizza for my kids. 

I realized tonight though, that it's time to get some more "ready to go" meals in the freezer.  Periodically I'll have spurts of a couple of weeks at a time where I will double and triple lots of our dinners, and freeze the extra for days like today.  I guess it's been a while since I did this because I couldn't find a single thing in the freezer tonight to just pull out, thaw, and serve.  I will definitely wait until after Thanksgiving for this project though….tomorrow we're making pies!!!

Don't Be Afraid to be Different

My daughter gave a presentation to her homeschool class today on the life of Joan of Arc, and how Joan has inspired her.  Olivia decided to dress up (ok - I actually came up with a costume and convinced her that it would be a fun way to do the project.)  She spoke as though she were Joan.  She spent a lot of time learning about Joan of Arc to prepare.  She read a book, watched a dvd and read a talk by James E. Faust (April 2006 General Conference) that referred to Joan of Arc.  In that talk he called on young women to live by the light of Christ that they have been given and to have the courage to follow his promptings. 
 
He said,
"To other girls in the fifteenth century, Joan of Arc seemed to be very different.  Sisters, don't be afraid to be different in our century.  Sometimes we have to be different in order to maintain Church standards.  So I repeat, don't be afraid to be different, but be as good as you can be.  Many girls are concerned about their friends' conduct and style of dress.  Such conduct may be motivated by a desire to be accepted by the peer group.  Joan of Arc did not worry about what her friends did, but rather about what she knew she should do."

This really sums up what I want to teach and exemplify to my daughters.  Living the gospel of Jesus Christ does mean that we will sometimes stick out and look different from many of those around us.  But we can "stick out" in a good way.  When we let the light and love of Jesus Christ show in our countenances we can influence those around us for the better and help them want to know more about Jesus Christ and his gospel.

Table Tip

For the first ten or so years of our lives together, Jerry and I had a kitchen table that he built for us.  We loved it.  It was made of good solid wood and had a laminate top with nice solid wooden benches.  However, eventually our family outgrew that table.  We purchased a bigger, nice solid wooden table with chairs.  I quickly realized that if I wanted our nice wooden table to stay that way with our busy family, I would need to do something to protect it.

Like most families, we do a lot more at our kitchen table than just eat.  It gets used for rolling out cookies and pies, playdough, painting, soap carving, school work, canning, board games, lego, bubble blowing, and even occasional veterinary work (actually, that only happened once and I will probably never share that scary story on this blog). 

My solution was one that we are still using today.  I purchased a length of clear flexible plastic (found it on rolls in the fabric department at Walmart) and simply covered the table with it.  Most messes clean up very easily and it even protects against dings and scratches to the wood.  Last week it even got covered with white glue and glitter and it simply got taken outside and sprayed off with a hose.  When we do want to have a nice formal dinner it is easy enough to take the plastic off and use a cloth tablecloth or placemats.  Three or four times a year I replace the plastic as it does occasionally get small tears in it that can allow moisture to get underneath and get trapped between the plastic and the table.  But it is really quite inexpensive and the years it has given to the life of our table have been worth it. 

Besides protecting the table we also use the plastic table cover to add a little fun to our kitchen.  Sometimes the children will make paper snowflakes in the wintertime and slide them underneath the plastic.  We have also put maps under the plastic, family pictures, and even sign language flashcards. 
 
Today the kids and I picked up a new length of plastic for the table.  I am hoping that they will get excited and make some Christmas and wintery decorations to go underneath it. 

Reality Check

When my children were all very young, too young to help with the housework, too young to help entertain anyone younger than themselves for more than a couple of minutes at a time, I remember thinking – Am I crazy?  How can I homeschool?  I can’t even find clean socks that match.

At the time I was reading a lot of homeschooling books and although I got a lot of great ideas I also came away wondering why my home didn’t seem to look like these perfect homes in the books.  Sometimes I would look at other homeschool Moms who had mentored me along the way, and shared many great ideas with me, and I would think – Why I can’t get it all together like them?

I am much older now – I won’t tell you how old – but I do have a 21 year old.  I am also much wiser.  I realize that we all have glorious days when everything seems just perfect – someone’s practicing piano, someone’s reading to the two year old, the chores were all done before breakfast, supper is already in the crockpot and I am sitting on the couch getting in a little reading of my own. Those are the days that people write about in their books and on their blogs.   But we also have days where I am lucky to find a chance to get dressed (I’ve been known to drop a child off at a class in my slippers and scrubs which I sometimes wear for pajamas), let alone take a shower, days where I feel tired and grumpy from nursing a sick baby all night.  Most of our days are somewhere in between the two.

I have learned that while homeschooling and motherhood are not perfect experiences, I can find perfect moments in every day….and when I take the time to cherish those moments, nothing can describe how wonderful that feels.

I read a phrase in a book by Linda Eyre (Joyful Mother of Children) .  This is one of my favorite books  that has an almost permanent home next to my bed  The phrase is – You can eat an elephant.

An elephant is a huge animal.  Even imagining eating something that size is absolutely ridiculous.  But what she says is, “It can be done – one bite at a time”  Raising children can sometimes be overwhelming - but we can do it – one bite at a time – every story we read, every song that we sing, every family activity, every time we lovingly teach a new chore, every prayer, every heart to heart chat we have in our bed late into the evening – all of these little bites bring us closer to our goal of helping our children become all that they are meant to become.

A Pearl in Every Oyster

A long time ago we watched a classic movie called, "The Good Earth."  In that movie the woman has a pearl that to her, is a symbol of her husband's love for her.  

Once a year my husband goes on a business trip to teach at a convention.  And whenever he comes home he brings me a gift.  It’s a very small gift but it has great meaning for the two of us. Near the airport is a small shop that sells cans containing one oyster apiece.  These oysters were scanned before they were processed to be sure that they contain a pearl.  When you get a can, you open it up, drain off the stinky preserving liquid, rinse off the oyster, and then pry it open.  Inside, you will find a pearl.  You rinse it off and rub it with salt to shine it up.  Sometimes the pearl is round and beautifully white.  Sometimes it has a small dark spot and may not have a perfectly round shape.  Some are whiter, others more cream colored or with a grayish tinge.  I have quite a collection of these pearls now that Jerry has brought to me over the years.  Our children are always  part of the "opening" ceremony when he brings one of these oysters home.  Then we get out the little ring box containing all the other pearls that have been collected and add it to the box, enjoying looking at all the pearls before we put it away.  I will probably never make earrings or a ring or a necklace out of these pearls.  Perhaps someday I will give them to my daughters.  But for now, I just enjoy taking them out and looking at them once in a while, just like in the movie, to remember the love of my husband for me.

Taking time to do and say little things each day to a spouse helps keep love alive and vibrant in a marriage.  I love it when my husband calls during the day, comes up from his office to give me a kiss, or runs a bath for me in the evening.  I like this quote from President Spencer W. Kimball that emphasizes the need to nurture the relationship between husband and wife.

"Love is like a flower, and like the body, it needs constant feeding.  The mortal body would soon be emaciated and die if there were not frequent feedings.  The tender flower would wither and die without food and water.  And so love, also, cannot be expected to last forever unless it is continually fed with portions of love, the manifestation of esteem and admiration, the expressions of gratitude, and the consideration of unselfishness."  (Oneness in Marriage, Ensign, March 1977)

And it Came to Pass

This past week Sophia, age two, asked to participate in family scripture reading for the first time.    In the past she has occasionally let us whisper the verse in her ear while she repeated it, but this time, she said very firmly, "I will do it by myself."  Then she opened her book on her lap and proceeded to read, "And it came to pass…."  After those first five words she said all kinds of interesting things including talking about the toy that baby David was holding.  But it was those first five words that were music to my ears.  You see, seven other times in the past 21 years I have witnessed a similar event.  When children are included in family scripture study right from the time they are born they seem to just soak up the language of the scriptures.  They internalize phrases like "it came to pass."  When Sophia finished her "verse" she finished by saying, "Amen," a common way for chapters to end in the Book of Mormon. 
 
Many of my children have participated in a Shakespeare class offered by some homeschooling mothers in our community.  When the children read their first Shakespeare play they find it very difficult to understand the language of "the bard."  But one of the requirements for the class is to read and watch as many plays as they can throughout the semester.  Sometimes my children have read as many as twenty plays.  By the end of the class, the language of Shakespeare seems much easier for them to understand.  They can read through the plays much quicker and still follow what is going on.  When the language is no longer a stumbling block, they can focus on the themes and meaning that Shakespeare has woven into his stories.

It is the same with the scriptures.  Familiarity with the language of the scriptures comes through reading regularly.  When the language is easier for us to understand, our minds are more freed up to think and ponder the doctrine and principles we are reading.  We can apply the scriptures to our own lives more readily. 

So that is why I get excited to hear my children using scripture language.  It means that they have heard the language and know how it should be used.
 
Anne G. Wirthlin (a past member of the Primary General Presidency) said in a 1998 General Conference:

"Recent research on the development of a child's brain has revealed new insights into how and when a child learns.  I quote from a (recent) study: "From birth, a baby's brain cells proliferate wildly, making connections that may shape a lifetime of experience.  The first three years are critical" (J Madeleine Nash, "Fertile Minds," Time, 3 Feb. 1997, 49).

"Is it surprising that our Father in Heaven fashioned the minds of very young children to be so capable of learning at a time when they need to be taught who they are and what they must do?  The years from birth to age 10 are the peak years for acquiring the language that will become the foundation for understanding future knowledge and truth.  That foundation is formed by the words they hear and the impressions that come to them from the world around them.  It is an ideal time for parents to read to their children from the scriptures.  They will begin to learn the language of the scriptures."

Lunch Bags Full of Love

Jerry and I will be taking a vacation together soon.  This is only the second time in our marriage that we have managed a getaway longer than a couple of days.  Of course, we will take David with us as he is still exclusively nursing.  I am looking forward to having lots of time to talk and just enjoy being together.  Getting a little extra sleep and a break from daily cleaning, cooking and laundry will be fun too.  Whenever Jerry and I have a getaway, even a short one, we come back closer to one another, more committed to our marriage, and better parents as well.  We feel ready and energized to continue this great adventure of raising our nine children together.

Grandma and Grandpa will be coming to our home to take care of our other children while we are gone.  I am so glad that the children will be in their own home, sleeping in their own beds and have each other and their everyday activities to keep them content while Mom and Dad are gone. 

A friend mentioned a great idea to me  and I decided to give it a try.  It will be a fun thing for Sophia while we are gone, will help to remember how much we love her, and will help her to keep track of when her Mom and Dad will be getting home. 

Here's the cute idea: I went shopping at Walmart and bought a number of inexpensive little "gifts."  I will put each gift in a lunchbag and staple it shut.  Then I will put a date on each bag.  Every morning after breakfast Sophia will get to open one bag.  The little trinkets are fun little things for her to use with her siblings and some healthy snacks.  As she sees the basket of lunchbags getting emptier each day, she will see how much longer it will be until we return.  When she wakes up and there are no lunchbags left, she will know that Mommy and Daddy will be home that day. 

…lunchbags are done now.  Here is Sophia with her basket of prizes

Home is Our Safe Place

Today I told Sophia that we needed to run to the store after dropping her sisters off at a friend's house.  When we got into the parking lot she kept insistently saying that she didn't want to go in the cart.  She wanted to "run" in the store.  That was strange to me.  I asked her if she wanted to walk instead of riding in the cart as she usually does.  She, very boldly told me, "No!  I want to run in the store."  I really couldn't figure her out.  We went into the store, did our shopping, (she got to be out of the cart for some of the time), then got back in the car and headed out to pick up the other girls from their friend's house.  We went in for a few minutes so I could feed the baby before we went home.  As we packed up to leave I told the girls, "I have one more place to run in to before we go home."  Then a lightbulb went off in my head.  I had just said, "I need to RUN in to one more store."  I use this phrase a lot!!!  I never say I need to "go" to the store.  I always use the phrase, "RUN" to the store.  Sophia had obviously picked up on it and taken it very literally.  She was determined to "RUN" to the store today instead of riding in the cart. 

Sometimes I think we forget how literally our children take the things that we say.  This is a rather harmless example but think about how simple exaggeration could be misunderstood by a small child.  If in anger we say something like "you never…." or "you always…" or "why don't you EVER…" to a small child, they begin to believe that "they never…" or "they always…" when we didn't really mean it that way.  We could hurt their tender little hearts without really meaning to.  
 
Sarcasm also can be hurtful between family members.  Little ones don't understand sarcasm at all due to their tendency to take things literally.  Communication in the family needs to be loving and honest and uplifting. 

I always tell my kids that home should be the safest place on earth for every person in our family.  It should be a place where they hear and feel love.  It should be a place where they can make mistakes and have quirks and growing pains without fear of ridicule or sarcastic comments from brothers, sisters or parents.  When I hear one of my children saying something to a brother or sister that could be considered "unsafe" I am quick to remind them that home is our safe place.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said in the April 2007 General Conference:

"We must be so careful in speaking to a child.  What we say or don't say, how we say it and when is so very, very important in shaping a child's view of himself or herself.  But it is even more important in shaping that child's faith in us and their faith in God.  Be constructive in your comments to a child - always.  Never tell them, even in whimsy, that they are fat or dumb or lazy or homely.  You would never do that maliciously, but they remember and may struggle for years trying to forget - and forgive."

Centered on the Savior

I've never had much money or talent for decorating our home.  However, I have made it a priority to have a number of pictures of the Savior on the walls throughout.  It thrills me to hear a two year old sweetly whisper the name, Jesus, as we pass a painting in the stairwell.  Our children need to know of our love for Jesus Christ and our determination to follow his teachings from the very youngest ages.
 
The church has made it so easy to teach our children about the Savior in our homes.  The scripture readers and the gospel art book are easy to buy and use.  We purchased the old gospel art kit in the blue box from the Distribution Center years ago.  I slid the pictures into sheet protectors and put them into binders…one for New Testament, one for Old Testament etc. I regularly let one of the younger children choose a picture then tell what he or she remembers about that story.  Then we read the story off the back of the picture.  Then I have another child tell the story again.  They always remember more details after that reading.  Sometimes I'll pull out several pictures depicting stories from the Savior's life and have them choose a favorite and tell that story to the other children.  The scripture readers make great bedtime storybooks and my younger ones love to "do their scriptures" online.  On lds.org you can have the scriptures read aloud to your children. 

Another one of my favorite ways to teach my children of the Savior, his mission, teachings and love for us, is through the Primary Songs.  There are so many wonderful songs about the Savior in the Primary Songbook.  Here are just a few of my favorites: I'm Trying to be Like Jesus, Jesus Loves the Little Children, When He Comes Again, I Feel my Savior's Love, Jesus Once was a Little Child, and Tell me the Stories of Jesus.  I teach these songs to my children, sing them often during the day and as lullabies and let them listen to them on the cd player as they fall asleep at night.  What better thoughts right before they go to sleep than of Jesus Christ and his love for them.

Howard W. hunter has counseled us:

"Please remember this one thing.  If our lives and our faith are centered upon Jesus Christ and his restored gospel, nothing can ever go permanently wrong.  On the other hand, if our lives are not centered on the Savior and his teachings, no other success can ever be permanently right." (Fear Not, Little Flock, 1988-89 Devotional and Fireside Speeches, Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1989, p. 112}.

Bubbles in the House

Bubbles in the house!!  What fun!!  This is a great family home evening activity or even just something to keep the kids busy for a half an hour while you get dinner ready.  Just fill a cereal bowl with water and a squirt of dish soap.  Add a straw and blow into the bowl.  The bubbles mound up pleasingly into beautiful bubble castles.  Even Sophia didn't take long to figure out that you definitely don't want to "drink" the solution….just blow.  We usually put a dish towel under each bowl because spills are inevitable. 

In Essentials, Unity

We have a son who is a returned missionary and is now in that phase of life where at some point he will find that special someone that he will take to the temple and be sealed to for time and for all eternity.  We've had lots of discussions over the few months that he has been home about dating and relationships and love and how you know when you have "found her."  It has been a fun time for me as I recall the days when Jerry and I were dating and how our relationship grew and deepened until we realized that we wanted to be with each other forever.

As we started out this adventure of marriage together we talked about the fact that as long as we could always be in agreement on the things that really matter in life, we would not let the little differences between us pull us apart.  We came upon a quote that has been attributed to St. Augustine that goes like this:

"In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, liberty; and in all things, charity."

It really is profound when you think about it.  Essentials in our marriage include keeping God's commandments and keeping our temple covenants.  When we have questions about things in our marriage and family life we always turn to the scriptures and the words of the prophets first.  Once we have found out what they have to say about the topic it is much easier to be unified. 

President Ezra Taft Benson said in the Ensign July 1992 (Salvation - A Family Affair):

"A husband and wife must attain righteous unity and oneness in their goals, desires and actions"

We have found that many of the things that cause contention between husbands and wives on a daily basis are really nonessentials.  We are all individuals; we do things differently, we see things differently; we have different opinions.  We need to celebrate those differences.  We need to be willing to listen to another's point of view.  We need to be forgiving when those differences cause us challenges or even pain and sadness.  And we need to realize that some things are so "nonessential" that they are really not worth taking any chance of damaging our relationship over.  We need to be careful not to let "nonessentials" slip into the category of "essentials."  When this happens, the unity in our marriage begins to disintegrate.  We find ourselves getting annoyed and frustrated with our spouse more often.  When this happens to me, realizing what I am doing is the first step to fixing the problem.  Remembering what things in life and in our marriage are truly "essential" helps shift my mind from those little "nonessentials" that are bothering me so much.

Richard G. Scott said in his General Conference address in Oct. 1996:

"Marriage allows [our] different characteristics to come together in oneness - in unity - to bless a husband and wife, their children and grandchildren.  For the greatest happiness and productivity in life, both husband and wife are needed.  Their efforts interlock and are complementary.  Each has individual traits that best fit the role the Lord has defined for happiness as a man or woman.  When used as the Lord intends, those capacities allow a married couple to think, act, and rejoice as one - to face challenges together and overcome them as one, to grow in love and understanding, and through temple ordinances to be bound together as one whole, eternally.  That is the plan."

And of course, when we have charity towards our spouse at all times, we see him or her through the Lord's eyes.  We see him or her as a child of God who is stretching and growing and trying and failing, then trying again.  The Lord continues to love us unconditionally despite our weakness; we can do the same for each other.

Just Laugh at It...unless your mouth is full

One of the reasons I love sitting down at the table together for a meal is the opportunity to teach and practice table manners.  We eat breakfast as we are ready in the morning, and lunch is fairly casual with Mom setting out the leftovers on the counter, having a blessing on the food with everyone, and then each person choosing and warming his own lunch.  The kids often sit at the table with a book and read while they eat lunch.  But dinnertime is different. 

At dinnertime we set the table with plates, cups, and silverware all in their proper places.  We all come to the table together and have our family prayer and blessing on the food.  We take our seats and then pass the serving bowls around the table.  Sometimes I just serve the food, especially if it is a pot of hot soup.  But I think there are lessons to be learned by passing the food around the table and letting each person serve himself.
 
Children learn to be patient and wait their turn for the food to get to them.  Children learn to try a little of everything that comes around.  (Although I am understanding about occasional food "hates" like Emily's absolute dislike for mushrooms.  I still encourage her to try at least one little piece from the stir fry as it comes around.) Children learn to gauge how hungry they are and not to take too much on their first serving.  They learn that they can ask politely for more when they finish their first portion.  Children learn to think of others as they take the food from the bowl.  If a child is the first one to take the roasted red potatoes, shiny with olive oil and fresh garlic (a family favorite) he must not take so many that there will not be enough for others to have some.  And finally, they learn to dish their food carefully, so that they do not spill all over the table as they lift the spoon from the serving bowl to their own plates……..OR NOT!!!

Today, as I was reminding on of the younger children to please spoon his salad carefully from the serving bowl, my 14 year old, in the midst of taking his own salad, exploded it across half the table.  Who knows how it happened?  Maybe it was because the salad spoons were in the dishwasher and we were using makeshift utensils in the salad bowl.  This was totally true.  Maybe it was because he was starving because 14 year old boys are always starving after three hours of church.  This was true as well.  But it was funny nevertheless.  Just as I was giving my mini "manners" lecture, manners and decorum completely left our table.  We all laughed and laughed and then cleaned up carrot shreds throughout the meal. 
 
Note: this post was made with the complete permission of Jacob, the 14 year old, starving, salad spewing, culprit!

Cheaper By The Dozen?

How many families regularly receive notices from their electrical company informing them of their excessive use of electricity?  We do!!  I wondered if we were the only ones, but we have some friends who have eight children who have received similar notices.  Every couple of months we receive another one, and today was the day.

We were told via informative little graphics that we use three times as much electricity per month as our most efficient neighbors and a little over twice as much as our nearest one hundred neighbors.  It's kind of funny that we are being compared to neighbors, many of whom have only two people in their household, both with jobs so they are often out of the home during the day.  No one else on our street has 9 people in their household who live, work, and go to school in their residence.  We were also told that we could go to their website to find tips on how we could reduce our electricity usage.  I checked out their tips tonight.  To be honest we are already doing a good majority of their suggestions.  I don't like large electricity bills, but with 9 people living in a home, homeschooling, and running a business out of our home…using a lot of electricity is just going to happen.

I am not complaining.  In fact, we get a big kick out of it whenever another one of these letters arrives.  We laughingly open the letter to "see how we did this time." 
 
 We do approximately two to three giant loads of laundry per day.  Our dishwasher runs about three times a day.  We bake bread twice a week, I hate to think how many showers and baths are taken.  (In our house even using water needs electricity because we have a well, and the water is pumped using electricity.)  My husband has computers for his home business and our children use computers for school.  We really do not use many lights during the day as we have lots of natural light from windows.  So that is one area where we are doing "well." 

We have never figured out how many kilowatt hours we use per month per person  in our family.  If we did do that, I think we'd come off looking pretty good.  After all, we always do full loads of laundry, we always fill the dishwasher to capacity, and having a light on in the family room for one person or nine, still costs the same amount of money.  I'm sure we could cut our usage if we washed fewer clothes, took fewer showers, and washed our dishes less frequently, but I can't imagine the mess and the smell!!

Using more electricity is just one of the "side effects" of a large family, but  I wouldn't trade even one of our precious children for a smaller electricity bill!!!!

Family Dinner

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! - CANADIAN STYLE!!

Because I was born in Canada and lived there my entire childhood we celebrate Thanksgiving twice each year at our house.  Thanksgiving in Canada is celebrated on the 2nd Monday in October.  That always coincides with the U.S. holiday of Columbus Day, but we seem to always make a bigger fuss over the Thanksgiving part at our house. Canada is further north than the United States and has an earlier harvest time and an earlier onset of winter, so it makes sense that the holiday is celebrated earlier.   We always roast a turkey or at least a big chicken.  We make pies and stuffing and often try to include what is left from the garden harvest in our feast.  This year we shared the meal with some good friends and gave them a "lesson" about Canada after dinner. 

As we prepared the tables, one in the kitchen and one in the family room, Jacob (14) said, "We really should have "fancy" meals like this more often."  He's right.  We really don't get out the tablecloths and the crystal glasses near as often as we should.  He and Nathan (11) did a wonderful job setting the table complete with napkins carefully wrapped around the silverware. 

Dallin H. Oakes in the October 2007 General Conference said this:

"The number of those who report that their "whole family usually eats dinner together" has declined 33 percent.  This is most concerning because the time a family spends together "eating meals at home [is] the strongest predictor of children's academic achievement and psychological adjustment."  Family mealtimes have also been shown to be a strong bulwark against children's smoking, drinking, or using drugs.  There is inspired wisdom in this advice to parents; what your children really want for dinner is you."

Dinnertime is a special time at our house, not because we always get out the fancy dishes (of which we really don't own very many) or because we eat fancy food.  It is special because we make a priority of eating together every single night, excluding date night.  All day long we are busy studying, working, running, swimming, singing, practicing piano, reading, drawing and writing.  I love that we have at least that dinner hour each day to come together and eat and talk and hear about the events of the day.  We all do dishes together after the meal and that extends our together time just a little bit more.  Our oldest at home right now, Benjamin, now has a job that means he misses dinner with the family twice a week.  That has been less than optimal, but knowing that he is working hard to earn the money he will need to pay for his mission helps us accept the fact. 

We don't always eat at the same time every night, due to schedules that are different from day to day, but what is important is that we eat together.  Brandon is now away at university, Kyle is on a mission and Benjamin will be on his mission in another year.  I now have the perspective I used to see in more experienced mothers when I had only young children.  This time when our children are here with us living in our home is so short.  Before you know it there are empty places at your "earthly dinner table."  But when you take the time to strengthen family relationships and make your home alive with gospel learning and testimony, you can have peace in knowing that there will be no empty chairs at your family table in heaven. 

President Ezra Taft Benson said in April 1984 General Conference:

"As parents and grandparents in Zion, it has been the shared hope of my wife and me that all of us will be together in the eternities- that all will be worthy, without a single empty chair.  That is my fervent hope and prayer for each family in the Church."

Bedside Chats

Bedside chats with little ones come naturally.  We have to help them get their jammies on, brush their teeth, say their prayers, then we tuck them in bed and read a story, ask them about their day, and then maybe sing a few songs.  But with older children, those opportunities do not present themselves as often.

At our house, bedside chats with our older children have become pretty standard.  Only they don't happen in the way you might think.  Our bedside chats with these big kids happen not at their bedside, but on mine and Jerry's bed in our bedroom.  In the evening after the younger children are asleep, the house quiets down, and that is the time that we love to catch up with our older children.  During the day I am so busy tending to dirty diapers, spills, owies, helping with schoolwork and chores, getting children from point A to point B, fixing meals and doing laundry, that (other than when I am sitting still nursing) I am probably pretty hard to have a decent conversation with.  But in the evening Jerry and I have always told our children…we are ALWAYS free to talk with you. 

When a child comes into our room and sets down on the bed, we put our own conversation and books aside and give that child our attention.  It is at these times that we hear of their worries and struggles, their triumphs, what they look forward to, and help them find answers to their questions and problems. Sometimes we talk of world events and sometimes just of the events in their own lives.   We love the uninterrupted time to really focus on them and their needs.  I will admit that it seems that our older children are at their most talkative after 9:30 at night, but it is worth losing a little, or maybe a lot of sleep to have these close moments with them. Because we have a number of older children in our family right now, another child will often pop in the door and plop down on the bed as soon as the other is finished.

Tonight I had a great chat with Benjamin, age 17, whose life is very busy right now with seminary, ballroom dancing at the high school, online college classes and working to earn money for his mission.  I heard of his frustration with one online class, an update of how his "running" injury is healing up, and of the regular communications he's been having with his older brother at BYU.  We talked of his plans for the next year as he prepares for his mission.  We ended with Mom getting a kiss goodnight and him knowing how very much I love him.  Yeah…its 10:30 now, I still have a few more things to finish up before bed, and I know that my day will start early tomorrow, but it was worth it.