Bedside Chats

Bedside chats with little ones come naturally.  We have to help them get their jammies on, brush their teeth, say their prayers, then we tuck them in bed and read a story, ask them about their day, and then maybe sing a few songs.  But with older children, those opportunities do not present themselves as often.

At our house, bedside chats with our older children have become pretty standard.  Only they don't happen in the way you might think.  Our bedside chats with these big kids happen not at their bedside, but on mine and Jerry's bed in our bedroom.  In the evening after the younger children are asleep, the house quiets down, and that is the time that we love to catch up with our older children.  During the day I am so busy tending to dirty diapers, spills, owies, helping with schoolwork and chores, getting children from point A to point B, fixing meals and doing laundry, that (other than when I am sitting still nursing) I am probably pretty hard to have a decent conversation with.  But in the evening Jerry and I have always told our children…we are ALWAYS free to talk with you. 

When a child comes into our room and sets down on the bed, we put our own conversation and books aside and give that child our attention.  It is at these times that we hear of their worries and struggles, their triumphs, what they look forward to, and help them find answers to their questions and problems. Sometimes we talk of world events and sometimes just of the events in their own lives.   We love the uninterrupted time to really focus on them and their needs.  I will admit that it seems that our older children are at their most talkative after 9:30 at night, but it is worth losing a little, or maybe a lot of sleep to have these close moments with them. Because we have a number of older children in our family right now, another child will often pop in the door and plop down on the bed as soon as the other is finished.

Tonight I had a great chat with Benjamin, age 17, whose life is very busy right now with seminary, ballroom dancing at the high school, online college classes and working to earn money for his mission.  I heard of his frustration with one online class, an update of how his "running" injury is healing up, and of the regular communications he's been having with his older brother at BYU.  We talked of his plans for the next year as he prepares for his mission.  We ended with Mom getting a kiss goodnight and him knowing how very much I love him.  Yeah…its 10:30 now, I still have a few more things to finish up before bed, and I know that my day will start early tomorrow, but it was worth it.