Home is Our Safe Place

Today I told Sophia that we needed to run to the store after dropping her sisters off at a friend's house.  When we got into the parking lot she kept insistently saying that she didn't want to go in the cart.  She wanted to "run" in the store.  That was strange to me.  I asked her if she wanted to walk instead of riding in the cart as she usually does.  She, very boldly told me, "No!  I want to run in the store."  I really couldn't figure her out.  We went into the store, did our shopping, (she got to be out of the cart for some of the time), then got back in the car and headed out to pick up the other girls from their friend's house.  We went in for a few minutes so I could feed the baby before we went home.  As we packed up to leave I told the girls, "I have one more place to run in to before we go home."  Then a lightbulb went off in my head.  I had just said, "I need to RUN in to one more store."  I use this phrase a lot!!!  I never say I need to "go" to the store.  I always use the phrase, "RUN" to the store.  Sophia had obviously picked up on it and taken it very literally.  She was determined to "RUN" to the store today instead of riding in the cart. 

Sometimes I think we forget how literally our children take the things that we say.  This is a rather harmless example but think about how simple exaggeration could be misunderstood by a small child.  If in anger we say something like "you never…." or "you always…" or "why don't you EVER…" to a small child, they begin to believe that "they never…" or "they always…" when we didn't really mean it that way.  We could hurt their tender little hearts without really meaning to.  
 
Sarcasm also can be hurtful between family members.  Little ones don't understand sarcasm at all due to their tendency to take things literally.  Communication in the family needs to be loving and honest and uplifting. 

I always tell my kids that home should be the safest place on earth for every person in our family.  It should be a place where they hear and feel love.  It should be a place where they can make mistakes and have quirks and growing pains without fear of ridicule or sarcastic comments from brothers, sisters or parents.  When I hear one of my children saying something to a brother or sister that could be considered "unsafe" I am quick to remind them that home is our safe place.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said in the April 2007 General Conference:

"We must be so careful in speaking to a child.  What we say or don't say, how we say it and when is so very, very important in shaping a child's view of himself or herself.  But it is even more important in shaping that child's faith in us and their faith in God.  Be constructive in your comments to a child - always.  Never tell them, even in whimsy, that they are fat or dumb or lazy or homely.  You would never do that maliciously, but they remember and may struggle for years trying to forget - and forgive."